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Anxiety and depression are related to autonomic nervous system Studies have shown that women with irritable bowel syndrome have a history of anxiety and depression. Certain methods were used to identify anxiety and depressive disorders. A comparison was done between women with irritable bowel syndrome who had a history of anxiety and depression to those that have had that experience. It was shown that women with anxiety history have a slight higher autonomic balance. As well women with a history have lower parasympathetic and general activity. In this experiment it shows similar differences but in the end women with a history of anxiety and depression tend to lower parasympathetic activity, as well influences in pain and stool changes. Source:


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Fatigue and the design of the respiratory system One reason our muscle get tired due to the lack of oxygen. It is best to avoid a single rate limiting step which causes resistance to oxygen flow. These steps are less phenotypic plasticity, these parts of the respiratory system must be built and be able to adapt to other steps. Rare individual animals have less malleable structure for respiratory system. Some structures usually seem over built. Source:

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The Immune system and the nervous system Between two system such as the immune system and the nervous system it can interfere with each systems activity. The immune system can interfere with the brains function. The central nervous system influences the activity of the immune system. The central nervous system causes a changing influence in the immune system response by the secretion of hormones and by neurotransmitters. Single elements of the immune system are all over the brain, as well a form of protection of the nervous system since its protected by the blood brain barrier. Source:

- - - - - Removal technology of typical odorant in drinking water.

In China there have been methods in trying to remove the odor of water. There have been studies towards average removal technology and removal process. Its been noticed that the average odor such as ethanethiol was removed effectively through oxidation. As well geosmin and 2-MIB were effectively removed through oxidation and adsorption. It wasnt then realized that adsorption was more effective than oxidation. It is then concluded that after conventional water treatment activated carbon adsorption should be added depending on the substance.

Source:http://science.naturalnews.com/pubmed/19186800.html




Interaction of xanthan gum with suspended solid

Data has been collected based on the interaction of Xanthan gum towards other substances. In the observations Xanthan gum has absorbed a significant amount of magnesium carbonate, aluminum hydroxide, zinc oxide, and calcium carbonate. As well saturation adsorption of NaCl was higher than water by 0.9%. It was 0.9% higher due to the reduced mutual repulsion of polymer parts in salt. Adsorption is due to electrostatic attraction between positively charged particles and negatively charged polymer. Through flocculation of magnesium carbonate and aluminum hydroxide by xanthan gum it has a liking mechanism.

Source:http://science.naturalnews.com/pubmed/7241363.html


Nitrate reduction to nitrite, a possible source of nitrite for growth of nitrite-oxidizing bacteria.

There are factors involving the growth of nirite-oxidizing bacteria. In order to find these factors nitrite oxdizing bacteria are put in different enviornments. The bacteria have been put in nitrate with out nitrite or ammonium. The result of this was that the nitrite oxdizers couldn't grow in unsaturated soil which meant that nitrite was a big factor involved with the growth of the nitrite oxdizer. Nitrite came from organic nitrogen, the organic nitrogen would be mineralized in order to create growth. During the growth period 2% of the organic nitrogen has been mineralized. The significant factor involved for the growth of a nitrite oxidizing bacteria is nitrite.

Source:http://science.naturalnews.com/pubmed/921264.html




Hi Naomi,

Please try to use these sources for your articles since they will help you on the difficult SAT articles you will encounter very soon:


https://www.scientificamerican.com/
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/
https://www.popsci.com/
https://www.naturalnews.com/
https://criticalhealthnews.com/health-news/health-articles


Booker T Washington Booker T Washington was born a slave on a Virginia farm, he became one of the most influential African American. He founded the school Tuskegee Institute its a black school in Alabama it trains the students to have a certain vocation. As well Booker T Washington was behind the development of the National Negro Business League, as well twenty years later he is the adviser to President Roosevelt as well to William Howard Taft. Booker T Washington is well known for his educational advancements as well for promoting economic independence for African American. Theodore Roosevelt as well William Howard Taft read Booker T Washington autobiography and it heavily influenced them.

Source:http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/booker-t-washington


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Susan B Anthony Susan B Anthony was born on February 15, 1820 in Adam, Massachusetts, She grew up in a family of political activist. Her family worked to end slavery known as the Abolition Movement as well they were part of the Temperance Movement it was for the consumption of alcohol to stop. Susan B. Anthony was inspired to fight for women’s rights during the time she was campaigning for the restriction towards alcohol, she then learned that women in politics would be taken seriously if they had the right to vote. Susan B Anthony along with Elizabeth Cady Stanton founded the National Women Suffrage Association as well they created the revolution and its weekly shown to promote women's rights in order to get support or receive attention on the issue. Susan B Anthony was passionate on this topic and would give speeches around the country to convince others to support women's rights. She'd also vote illegally and was arrested as well fined one hundred dollars which she never paid. In the end Susan B Anthony died before seeing women be able to practice to vote for the first time.

Source:http://www.history.com/topics/womens-history/susan-b-anthony

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Theodore Roosevelt President William McKinley was assassinated leaving Theodore Roosevelt to become the twentieth sixth president of the Untied States in September of 1901. Roosevelt was well known as a "trust buster" he used the Sherman Antitrust Act to end certain trust only he'd differentiate certain trust which are beneficial to the people or not. In his early life and career he served in the New York Assembly for two years from 1882 to 1884 and during the time both his mother and wife died in the same day leading Roosevelt to live in a ranch for to years but later on he comes back. Roosevelt had a domestic program called the Square Deal it claims that it would destroy monopolies, trust and any unfair practices that restrict trade. Roosevelt shared a similar interest as McKinley to have the United States out of isolationism. During Roosevelt presidency he's done certain things such as inviting Booker T. Washington to dinner.

Source: http://www.history.com/topics/us-presidents/theodore-roosevelt


Slavery in America


Slavery began in 1619 in a North American colony which is Jamestown, Virginia.

      • You don't need to include "which is," just simply state where it took place; try using "called" instead; Slavery began in 1619 in a North American colony called Jamestown, Virginia.

Slavery was practiced in the seventeenth and eighteenth century, slavery was the main foundation of the nations economy.

      • Combine these two sentences with "and" to not seem redundant by using "slavery" twice; use "centuries" because you are referring to more than one; don't forget about punctuation when it comes to possessive words; Slavery was practiced in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, and was the main foundation of the nation's economy.

In the late eighteenth century there was a high demand of cotton from England and someone named Eli Whitney who created the Cotton Gin which was an efficient way to remove seed in the cotton which then led the south to be more dependent on slave’s labor.

      • This sentence reads as a run-on, so it's best to break it up; separate the two ideas with two sentences so the reader gets the cause and effect; make sure to signify what the cotton gin is (a machine); In the late eighteenth century, there was a high demand of cotton from England. After Eli Whitney created the cotton gin, a machine that efficiently removed seeds from cotton, the South became more dependent on slave labor.

As America was expanding westward, in the north the abolition movement was emerging which would start the cause of the Civil war.

      • Watch your capitalization here, as all places and wars should be capitalized; keep the sentence in the past tense; As America expanded westward, in the North, the abolition movement emerged, which started the Civil War.

When the Civil war ended due to the fact that Abraham Lincoln wanted to keep the union together he ended slavery. Which led to an immediate action of the establishment of the thirteenth, fourteenth and. Fifteenth amendment.

      • These sentences can be reworked for clarity; watch your punctuation as a few commas are needed to create pause and separate ideas; The Civil War ended because Abraham Lincoln wanted to keep the Union together. He ended slavery, which led to the immediate establishment of the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth amendments.

These amendments eliminated slavery, gave former slaves the rights to full citizenship and equality as well the right to vote.

      • One last comma (Oxford comma, if you will) should be placed after equality for the list; replace "as well" with "and"; These amendments eliminated slavery, gave former slaves the right to full citizenship, equality, and the right to vote.

Although there were amendments established there were other ways of still exploiting former slaves such as Sharecropping and having the black codes as well organizations have arises such as the Klu Klux Klan who scared the black from voting. Therefore, even though slavery has ended there is still other forms to still having a form of exploiting people leading to a never ending cycle.

      • You can rework these statements into a more powerful conclusion; watch your usage of words so you don't repeat yourself or seem disorganized; try stating the exploitation in a list form; don't forget to stay in past tense; Although these amendments were established, there were several ways former slaves were exploited: Sharecropping, having black codes, and organizations such as the Klu Klux Klan whom scared blacks from voting. Though slavery had ended, the exploitation created a never-ending cycle for former slaves and their ancestors.


Slavery in America

Slavery began in 1619 in a North American colony which is Jamestown, Virginia. Slavery was practiced in the seventeenth and eighteenth century, slavery was the main foundation of the nations economy. In the late eighteenth century there was a high demand of cotton from England and someone named Eli Whitney who created the Cotton Gin which was an efficient way to remove seed in the cotton which then led the south to be more dependent on slave’s labor. As America was expanding westward, in the north the abolition movement was emerging which would start the cause of the Civil war. When the Civil war ended due to the fact that Abraham Lincoln wanted to keep the union together he ended slavery. Which led to an immediate action of the establishment of the thirteenth, fourteenth and. Fifteenth amendment. These amendments eliminated slavery, gave former slaves the rights to full citizenship and equality as well the right to vote. Although there were amendments established there were other ways of still exploiting former slaves such as Sharecropping and having the black codes as well organizations have arises such as the Klu Klux Klan who scared the black from voting. Therefore, even though slavery has ended there is still other forms to still having a form of exploiting people leading to a never ending cycle.


Fully edited article: Slavery in America

Slavery began in 1619 in a North American colony called Jamestown, Virginia. Slavery was practiced in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, and was the main foundation of the nation's economy. In the late eighteenth century, there was a high demand of cotton from England. After Eli Whitney created the cotton gin, a machine that efficiently removed seeds from cotton, the South became more dependent on slave labor. As America expanded westward, in the North, the abolition movement emerged, which started the Civil War. The Civil War ended because Abraham Lincoln wanted to keep the Union together. He ended slavery, which led to the immediate establishment of the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth amendments. These amendments eliminated slavery, gave former slaves the right to full citizenship, equality, and the right to vote. Although these amendments were established, there were several ways former slaves were exploited: Sharecropping, having black codes, and organizations such as the Klu Klux Klan whom scared blacks from voting. Though slavery had ended, the exploitation created a never-ending cycle for former slaves and their ancestors.


      • You need to work on: capitalization, watching your punctuation (commas and apostrophes), separating lists with commas and "and," keeping in all one tense, and making sure your sentences read clearly (try reading them aloud to yourself for help!)

Edited by Sydney


Source: http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/slavery



The Fight for Women’s suffrage


In the early 1800s there was a struggle for women’s right to vote. Men had a certain belief that women should be pious and an obedient housewife whom takes care of everything regarding to kids and cleaning.

      • Some commas are needed to break up the sentences; make sure you stay plural when referring to women as a whole; In the early 1800's, there was a struggle for women’s right to vote. Men had a certain belief that women should be pious and an obedient housewives who take care of everything in regards to kids and cleaning.

In Seneca Falls, New York in 1848 a convention was organized by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott to discuss the issue of the necessity of women to vote and to change the Declaration of Independence that bother men and women are created equally.

      • This sentence needs to be restructured so it reads more clearly; state the convention first, the location second, and then what the purpose was; make sure you're citing the proper document stated in the article; A convention was organized in Seneca Falls, New York, in 1848 by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott to discuss the issue of the necessity of women voting and to change the Declaration of Sentiments to "both men and women are created equal."

After, around 1850 the Civil war ended and fourteenth and fifteenth amendment were established which brought awareness towards the suffrage movement which was the definition of citizen to the US and it’s mainly viewed that a man was a citizen

      • Put the amendment definition directly after whichever one you're referring to, otherwise this sentence doesn't make much sense; Around 1850 the Civil War ended and fourteenth (which was the definition of a US "citizen," and was mainly viewed that only man was considered a citizen), and fifteenth amendment were established, which brought awareness towards the suffrage movement.

In 1890 the National American Women Suffrage Association formed and it’s purpose was to still fight for the rights for women to vote but their argument changed instead of because men and women were created equally the new reason was that they are different from men.

      • This sentence can be broken up into two solid points so it doesn't read as an unclear run-on; state the reasons why their opinion changed; In 1890, the National American Woman Suffrage Association formed, it’s purpose to still fight for the rights for women to vote. However, their argument changed: instead of men and women being created equally, the new reason women should be allowed to vote was that they are different from men.

In the 1900s staring west women were allowed to vote for the first time, and by August 26,1920 the nineteenth amendment was established allowing women to have all rights and full citizenship like men and on Election Day of the year 1920 all women were allowed to vote for the first time.

      • This sentence can be broken up into two; make sure you're stating the exact location of the voting spread; In the 1900's, starting in the West, women were allowed to vote for the first time. By August 26, 1920, the nineteenth amendment was established, which allowed women to have the same rights and citizenship as men, and by Election Day 1920, all women gained the right to vote.

Therefore, from the 1800s to 1920 women struggled to fight for the ablility to vote and to prove that they are capable of doing more than just care for the family and clean.

      • No need for buzzwords like "therefore"; you can rework this sentence to have a more impactful conclusion; From the 1800's to 1920, women struggled for the ability to vote. But ultimately, they proved they are capable of being more than just a housewife.


The Fight for Women’s suffrage

In the early 1800s there was a struggle for women’s right to vote. Men had a certain belief that women should be pious and an obedient housewife whom takes care of everything regarding to kids and cleaning. In Seneca Falls, New York in 1848 a convention was organized by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott to discuss the issue of the necessity of women to vote and to change the Declaration of Independence that bother men and women are created equally. After, around 1850 the Civil war ended and fourteenth and fifteenth amendment were established which brought awareness towards the suffrage movement which was the definition of citizen to the US and it’s mainly viewed that a man was a citizen. In 1890 the National American Women Suffrage Association formed and it’s purpose was to still fight for the rights for women to vote but their argument changed instead of because men and women were created equally the new reason was that they are different from men. In the 1900s staring west women were allowed to vote for the first time, and by August 26,1920 the nineteenth amendment was established allowing women to have all rights and full citizenship like men and on Election Day of the year 1920 all women were allowed to vote for the first time. Therefore, from the 1800s to 1920 women struggled to fight for the ablility to vote and to prove that they are capable of doing more than just care for the family and clean.


Fully edited article: The Fight for Women's Suffrage

In the early 1800's, there was a struggle for women’s right to vote. Men had a certain belief that women should be pious and an obedient housewives who take care of everything in regards to kids and cleaning. A convention was organized in Seneca Falls, New York, in 1848 by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott to discuss the issue of the necessity of women voting and to change the Declaration of Sentiments to "both men and women are created equal." Around 1850 the Civil War ended and fourteenth (which was the definition of a US "citizen," and was mainly viewed that only man was considered a citizen), and fifteenth amendment were established, which brought awareness towards the suffrage movement. In 1890, the National American Woman Suffrage Association formed, it’s purpose to still fight for the rights for women to vote. However, their argument changed: instead of men and women being created equally, the new reason women should be allowed to vote was that they are different from men. In the 1900's, starting in the West, women were allowed to vote for the first time. By August 26, 1920, the nineteenth amendment was established, which allowed women to have the same rights and citizenship as men, and by Election Day 1920, all women gained the right to vote. From the 1800's to 1920, women struggled for the ability to vote. But ultimately, they proved they are capable of being more than just a housewife.


      • You need to work on: making sure your sentences read clearly, relating explanations of topics to the subject better, and word choice.

Edited by Sydney


Source:http://www.history.com/topics/womens-history/the-fight-for-womens-suffrage




How Other Countries Deal with Net Neutrality

The Federal Communication Commision’s has a decision in December 2017. It was to change the principle of open internet also known as net neutrality. Net neutrality is the principle that internet service providers should enable access to all content and applications without favoring or blocking a website.

      • Combine these first two sentences into one; no need for "'s" after Commission; The Federal Communications Commission has a decision to make in December 2017 to change the principle of open internet, known as net neutrality. Net neutrality is the principle that internet service providers should enable access to all content and applications without favoring or blocking a website.

There’s been debates on to whether to keep or deny internet freedom.

      • Include "whether or not" to relate to the decision; There have been debates on whether or not to keep or deny internet freedom.

Before internet freedom there were various of issues either for blocked pages or none, the FCC came up and established the Open Internet but removing it is undoing everything from the beginning.

      • This sentence reads a little choppy and needs work; you can divide it up into two separate idea sentences; Before internet freedom, there were various issues of blocked pages and even no pages being accessible to users on certain networks. To remedy this, the FCC established the Open Internet Order; to remove it would undo the very idea of net neutrality.

Therefore, there’s an undecisive decision with the removal of net neutrality in the US.

      • No need for "therefore"; "indecisive"; conclude more strongly; There is still indecision on whether net neutrality should be removed in the U.S.

How Other Countries Deal with Net Neutrality

The Federal Communication Commision’s has a decision in December 2017. It was to change the principle of open internet also known as net neutrality. Net neutrality is the principle that internet service providers should enable access to all content and applications without favoring or blocking a website. There’s been debates on to whether to keep or deny internet freedom. Before internet freedom there were various of issues either for blocked pages or none, the FCC came up and established the Open Internet but removing it is undoing everything from the beginning. Therefore, there’s an undecisive decision with the removal of net neutrality in the US.


Fully edited article: How Other Countries Deal with Net Neutrality

The Federal Communications Commission has a decision to make in December 2017 to change the principle of open internet, known as net neutrality. Net neutrality is the principle that internet service providers should enable access to all content and applications without favoring or blocking a website. There have been debates on whether or not to keep or deny internet freedom. Before internet freedom, there were various issues of blocked pages and even no pages being accessible to users on certain networks. To remedy this, the FCC established the Open Internet Order; to remove it would undo the very idea of net neutrality. There is still indecision on whether net neutrality should be removed in the U.S.


      • You need to work on: making sentences less choppy, spicing up your sentences with more descriptive words, and making sure your grammar is accurate.

Edited by Sydney


Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/how-other-countries-deal-net-neutrality-180967558/


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Mind Bending Parasite Permanently Quells Cat fear in Me

      • Make sure if you're using the same title, that all words are correct; Mind-Bending Parasite Permanently Quells Cat Fear in Mice

There is a single celled parasite called Toxoplasama Gondii. This parasite can infect mammals meaning including humans.

      • These sentences can be combined into one; don't forget to hyphenate "single-celled"; make sure you signify that the parasite is found in cats so it makes sense with the rest of the summary; There is a single-celled parasite that's found in cats, called Toxoplasma gondii, that infects mammals, including humans.

The parasite can change the behavior of the host, such as its fears as well it controls its sexual arousal of the host. This parasite can stay with the host in its whole entire life.

      • These two sentences can also be combined into a list form; clarify who "its" is at the end of the sentence; The parasite can change the behavior of the host, such as its fears and sexual arousal, and stays with the host for the rest of its parasite life.

People with schizophrenia are most likely infected by this parasite.

      • More info is needed for this sentence, otherwise it seems out of place; Schizophrenic humans are most likely to be infected by this parasite, as it precedes the onset of symptoms.

Therefore, this parasite is a unique yet unfavorable organism since it can lead the host to do unwanted things such as a mice going to the cat’s direction and get killed.

      • Name the parasite one more time to wrap the article; rewording is needed for clarity; Toxoplasma gondii is a unique yet unfavorable organism, especially for mice, since the infection can lead a mouse right into a cat's direction for it to get killed.


Mind Bending Parasite Permanently Quells Cat fear in Me

There is a single celled parasite called Toxoplasama Gondii. This parasite can infect mammals meaning including humans. The parasite can change the behavior of the host, such as its fears as well it controls its sexual arousal of the host. This parasite can stay with the host in its whole entire life. People with schizophrenia are most likely infected by this parasite. Therefore, this parasite is a unique yet unfavorable organism since it can lead the host to do unwanted things such as a mice going to the cat’s direction and get killed.


Fully edited article: Mind-Bending Parasite Permanently Quells Cat Fear in Mice

There is a single-celled parasite that's found in cats, called Toxoplasma gondii, that infects mammals, including humans. The parasite can change the behavior of the host, such as its fears and sexual arousal, and stays with the host for the rest of its parasite life. Schizophrenic humans are most likely to be infected by this parasite, as it precedes the onset of symptoms. Toxoplasma gondii is a unique yet unfavorable organism, especially for mice, since the infection can lead a mouse right into a cat's direction for it to get killed.


      • You need to work on: reworking your sentences for clarity, providing more information so the summary makes more sense, and word choice.

Edited by Sydney


Source: http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/04/26/mind-bending-parasite-permanently-quells-cat-fear-in-mice/?_ga=2.8401781.1178985630.1513402825-568742696.1513402825

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8 Ways that Air Pollution Can Harm Your Health

Outdoor air pollution can cause health problems to us.

      • Make sure to clarify who "us" is; use "for" instead of "to"; Outdoor air pollution can cause health problems for humans.

There is an estimated amount of deaths caused by outdoor air which is about 3.3 millions death.

      • Reword this sentence so it reads more clearly and presents the fact upfront; make sure you include a time frame or location with the statistic; Worldwide, 3.3 million estimated deaths are caused by outdoor air pollution.

The causes of theses death is either heart attacks or stroke and lung related issues.

      • Use "are" instead of "is" because you're referring to multiple causes; use commas when describing a list; The causes of these deaths are heart attacks, strokes, or lung-related issues.

The majority of deaths were in Asia since it has severe air pollution.

      • A few word choices can be made to make this sentence sound better; The majority of deaths were in Asia, which experiences severe air pollution.

There’s been studies based on the body and interaction with polluted air and it has a negative impact on the body, almost lethal. Therefore, air pollution has a negative impact on our bodies either slowing parts of the body or leading us to our death.

      • These two sentences can be combined and reworded into one impactful closing line; Studies based on the body's interaction with polluted air show a negative, almost lethal, impact on the body, slowing parts of the body down or ultimately leading humans to death.


8 Ways that Air Pollution Can Harm Your Health

Outdoor air pollution can cause health problems to us. There is an estimated amount of deaths caused by outdoor air which is about 3.3 millions death. The causes of theses death is either heart attacks or stroke and lung related issues. The majority of deaths were in Asia since it has severe air pollution. There’s been studies based on the body and interaction with polluted air and it has a negative impact on the body, almost lethal. Therefore, air pollution has a negative impact on our bodies either slowing parts of the body or leading us to our death.


Fully edited article: 8 Ways that Air Pollution Can Harm Your Health

Outdoor air pollution can cause health problems for humans. Worldwide, 3.3 million estimated deaths are caused by outdoor air pollution. The causes of these deaths are heart attacks, strokes, or lung-related issues. The majority of deaths were in Asia, which experiences severe air pollution. Studies based on the body's interaction with polluted air show a negative, almost lethal, impact on the body, slowing parts of the body down or ultimately leading humans to death.


      • You need to work on: word choice and sentence condensation.

Edited by Sydney


Source: https://www.livescience.com/60927-how-air-pollution-harms-health.html


_ _ _ _ _ Naomi, Great job on your first article!!!

This is Mr. Steve. You must condense your article to:
1. Headline
2. Topic sentence
3. Fact 1 sentence
4. Fact 2 sentence
5. Fact 3 sentence
6. Fact 4 sentence
7.Concluding sentence
8. Source: (The URL - the website that you got the news articles from. Like this: Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/long-sleeves-on-doctors-white-coats-may-spread-germs/ )

Try to edit this one as I explained above and then I'll have it edited.


A Void Inside the Great Pyramid

Due to the use of cosmic rays, a large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt.

      • You can condense and retool this sentence for a clearer read; A large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt by using cosmic rays.

The Egyptology community is skeptical about it because they believe that the void could just be another hole in the pyramid from construction.

      • As with the first sentence, some rephrasing can be done here; work on word choice as to how you say things; This has stirred skepticism within the Egyptology community, causing members to believe that the void could simply be another hole in the pyramid caused by construction.

Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles, which are formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere.

      • "Which are" not really needed here; Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere.

All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an area that was not expected at all.

      • You can condense "in an area that was not expected at all"; All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an unexpected area.

There are two major opposing views on the appearance of the void.

      • Use "viewpoints" instead of "views" because it's the filter for the information and the perspective from which the view is taken; There are two major opposing viewpoints on the appearance of the void.

Some, like the Egyptologist Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods.

      • It's important to list the first and last name of someone important to the article, especially if you're introducing them for the first time; Some, like Egyptoligist Monica Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods.

Others are more dismissive and disagree by saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers, and it's probably just an irregularity.

      • Don't need to use "and" here; state what the others are dismissive of; could benefit by conjoining these thoughts with a semicolon; Others are more dismissive of this theory and disagree, saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers; it's probably just and irregularity.

Either way, in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void, there needs to be further research and investigations.

      • Using "either way" makes the summary sound less professional; reword this sentence so it fits better with the other sentences and has a less dismissive tone; Further research and investigations are needed in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void.


A Void Inside the Great Pyramid

Due to the use of cosmic rays, a large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt. The Egyptology community is skeptical about it because they believe that the void could just be another hole in the pyramid from construction. Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles, which are formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere. All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an area that was not expected at all. There are two major opposing views on the appearance of the void. Some, like the Egyptologist Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods. Others are more dismissive and disagree by saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers, and it's probably just an irregularity. Either way, in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void, there needs to be further research and investigations.


Fully edited article: A Void Inside the Great Pyramid

A large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt by using cosmic rays. This has stirred skepticism within the Egyptology community, causing members to believe that the void could simply be another hole in the pyramid caused by construction. Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere. All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an unexpected area. There are two major opposing viewpoints on the appearance of the void. Some, like Egyptoligist Monica Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods. Others are more dismissive of this theory and disagree, saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers; it's probably just and irregularity. Further research and investigations are needed in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void.


      • You need to work on: word choice, specifically finding the strongest words to say your point in the least amount of space, and reworking sentences so that they read better.

Edited by Sydney


Source: https://www.livescience.com/60842-cosmic-rays-reveal-void-great-pyramid.html




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