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A successful cancer researcher confronts a new challenge: getting elected to Congress

Jason Westin, a former cancer researcher, is now trying to get into Congress. He used to run "clinical trials testing treatments for lymphoma and now is hope full to "claim the Democratic nomination". He is also a man of facts unlike his fellow competitors, he would get to the needy gritty of things and prove his facts with statistics. Furthermore, he is forty and is currently the father of three children and lives in Texas. He is also well tangled into the sciences and his opponents have to rush in in order to keep up. In order to move into the next round he has to beat the current democrats in his state.

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/02/successful-cancer-researcher-confronts-new-challenge-getting-elected-congress




Barnaby Joyce: Scandal-hit Australia deputy PM to resign

Australia's prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, states that he will resign due to a saga of scandals. He told the public that he was going to step down on Monday via a tweet he sent on Thursday.Joyce has been accused of breaching ministerial rules ulimately abusing his power. He has also been known for threatening Johny Deep saying that he was going to kill his dogs. Not only that, but he has also been accused of having an intimate relationship with his staff. This topic has been in the Australia headlines for two weeks.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-43165427




China's eight-year-long smartphone growth comes to an end

China has now ended it's smartphone growth that has lasted for eight years. According to Mo Jia , a research anaylyst, has stated that consumers have upgraded from basic phones to entry level phones considering the fact that they dont need them. He also quotes that the market went from being a change market to a stop market. This made the chinnese market very saturated, which now consists of Apple and Samsung. Huawei, Oppo and Vivo are now longing to expand their brands to new parts of the world. The chinnese smartphone market has been reported to decline even more in the upcoming years.

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42830375




UK economic growth exceeds forecasts, ONS says

The U.K. has seen an enourmous amount of economic growth during these past months that have not been forecasted before. Economists only forecasted 0.4% growth in December but it is now reported that it will have uneven growth. The economy was boosted by services that include "recruitment agencies, letting agents and office management". This caused for manufacturing to grow stronger. But economist Ben Brettel points out that the growth is "anaemic" and he doubted that "there would be more than one rate rise this year". The U.K. has been having a bipolar year.

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42831655




Venezuela: France's Macron calls for tougher sanctions

Sanctions on Venezuela has been strengthened by various nations, due to Maduro's re-election. The president of France has stated that Venezuela has "not been a democracy for a long time". Argentina's president has been active in this situation by criticizing the decision of Venezuelas supreme court on banning the participation of the opposition by naming the presidential poll as "coalition". The opposition was already weakened by the absence of its leaders who mostly are in jail. Unfortanueltly 120 people have died during the four month period of protest against Maduro's regime. This new election will, once again, seal the fate of Venezuela.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-42842890




Amazon raises monthly Prime price in US

Amazon Prime has now risen $2 from its $12.99 price in order to push more people to the annual plan. Furthermore,Prime subscribers tend to do more shopping with amazon due to its avaibility to other country's.

      • No need to use "furthermore" since it's not introducing any sort of fresh consideration to the article; don't forget to capitalize Amazon as it is a proper noun; availability is spelled incorrectly and possessive form of country is used instead of the plural form; Amazon Prime has now risen $2 from its $12.99 price in order to push more people to the annual plan. Prime subscribers tend to do more shopping with Amazon due to its availability to other countries.

Also 90 million people have amazon prime. Furthermore, Amazon stated that it has invested a lot of money in order to make it valuable to its members.

      • You can combine the amount of subscribers into the second sentence so it doesn't seem like a random afterthought; With 90 million members, Amazon stated that it has invested a lot of money in order to make Prime valuable to its members.

Furthermore, Amazon increased the price of its monthly student plan from $5.49 to $6.49 which changes the game.

      • This is an area where "furthermore" is useful, since it adds an additional consideration to the article; "which changes the game" seems out of place since it's not explained how it does this, so it's best to take it out; Furthermore, Amazon increased the price of its monthly student plan from $5.49 to $6.49.

In conclusion, this is what is happening to Amazon.

      • This sentence is awkward and seems like a rushed summation, so we'll take it out


Amazon raises monthly Prime price in US

Amazon Prime has now risen $2 from its $12.99 price in order to push more people to the annual plan. Furthermore,Prime subscribers tend to do more shopping with amazon due to its avaibility to other country's. Also 90 million people have amazon prime. Furthermore, Amazon stated that it has invested a lot of money in order to make it valuable to its members. Furthermore, Amazon increased the price of its monthly student plan from $5.49 to $6.49 which changes the game. In conclusion, this is what is happening to Amazon.


Fully edited article: Amazon raises monthly Prime price in US

Amazon Prime has now risen $2 from its $12.99 price in order to push more people to the annual plan. Prime subscribers tend to do more shopping with Amazon due to its availability to other countries. With 90 million members, Amazon stated that it has invested a lot of money in order to make Prime valuable to its members. Furthermore, Amazon increased the price of its monthly student plan from $5.49 to $6.49.


      • You need to work on: proper use of the word "furthermore" and combining small afterthought sentences into the bigger picture so they don't seem awkward to read.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42753879


US shutdown: Senate fails to agree on new budget

The government of the U.S. is now approaching a shutdown ever since the senate refused to the agree on the new budget.

      • You can simply state it as "The U.S. government" so it doesn't sound so wordy; don't forget to capitalize Senate because it's referring to the legislative body itself; The U.S. government is now approaching a shutdown ever since the Senate refused to the agree on the new budget.

The House of Representatives officially voted 230-197 on Thursday night in order to extend funding until the next month, but the measure actually failed to pass the Senate.

      • "the next month" is too vague of a time frame, since it's literally supposed to extend until February take out "the"; The House of Representatives officially voted 230-197 on Thursday night in order to extend funding until next month, but the measure actually failed to pass the Senate.

Furthermore, In the hours before the vote, President Donald Trump sounded worried and depressed, tweeting, as stated,"not looking good for our great Military or Safety & Security on the very dangerous Southern Border".

      • No need for furthermore; since it isn't the full tweet being quoted you should actually use ellipses at the end of the sentence that there is more implied quote to be had (and keep the ellipses within the quotation marks); In the hours before the vote, President Donald Trump sounded worried and depressed, tweeting, as stated,"Not looking good for our great Military or Safety & Security on the very dangerous Southern Border..."

He also invited Democratic Senate leader Chuck Schumer, a New Yorker, to the White House for talks but they failed to find grounds.

      • The correct term is "common grounds"; clarify who invited Schumer; Trump also invited Democratic Senate leader Chuck Schumer, a New Yorker, to the White House for talks but they failed to find common grounds.

In conclusion, the white house is in shambles.

      • You can't include your own personal political feelings within these articles, it has to strictly adhere to what is actually in the article


US shutdown: Senate fails to agree on new budget

The government of the U.S. is now approaching a shutdown ever since the senate refused to the agree on the new budget. The House of Representatives officially voted 230-197 on Thursday night in order to extend funding until the next month, but the measure actually failed to pass the Senate. Furthermore, In the hours before the vote, President Donald Trump sounded worried and depressed, tweeting, as stated,"not looking good for our great Military or Safety & Security on the very dangerous Southern Border". He also invited Democratic Senate leader Chuck Schumer, a New Yorker, to the White House for talks but they failed to find grounds. In conclusion, the white house is in shambles.


Fully edited article: US shutdown: Senate fails to agree on new budget

The U.S. government is now approaching a shutdown ever since the Senate refused to the agree on the new budget. The House of Representatives officially voted 230-197 on Thursday night in order to extend funding until next month, but the measure actually failed to pass the Senate. In the hours before the vote, President Donald Trump sounded worried and depressed, tweeting, as stated,"Not looking good for our great Military or Safety & Security on the very dangerous Southern Border..." Trump also invited Democratic Senate leader Chuck Schumer, a New Yorker, to the White House for talks but they failed to find common grounds.


      • You need to work on: not putting in your own opinion and adhering strictly to what's written to the article, and being more specific as to where information is coming from.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42749423


Pound hits highest level since Brexit vote

The sterling has officially jumped to its highest level, compared to the U.S. dollar. It gained more than 1%, now at $1.3733, during the evening of June 24 2016.

      • When writing dates, use a comma after the date's number; The sterling has officially jumped to its highest level, compared to the U.S. dollar. It gained more than 1%, now at $1.3733, during the evening of June 24, 2016.

Furthermore, Nelson Wilson from ETX Capital stated, "Although the comments came from just two ministers who don't necessarily speak for the Barnier team as such, there is a sense that the direction of travel for the UK with regards Brexit is a lot more positive than it was prior to December".

      • When quoting someone, be sure to get their name right; commas and periods must go within quotation marks when you're taking a direct quote from an article, unless you're breaking the sentence up, then it can be different; quoting dialogue should be put into its own separate paragraph, as with any dialogue; Furthermore, Neil Wilson from ETX Capital stated, "Although the comments came from just two ministers who don't necessarily speak for the Barnier team as such, there is a sense that the direction of travel for the UK with regards to Brexit is a lot more positive than it was prior to December."

And according to them the pound was 0.2 % higher than the euro, which lays at e (Euro) 1.12810. Which made several traders concerned about poor Christmas trading.

      • Who is "them"? It's best to label who this fact is directly coming from; you can combine these two sentences because they're related to the same topic; since you use the active tone of "which lays" to describe the Euro, change "which made" to "making" so it's clear that a present action is taking place; According to EXT Capital the pound was 0.2 % higher than the euro, which lays at €1.12810, making several traders concerned about poor Christmas trading.

But it has been decided that the sterling will continue to grow through the next couple months.

      • This isn't mentioned in the article, so it should be taken out


Pound hits highest level since Brexit vote

The sterling has officially jumped to its highest level, compared to the U.S. dollar. It gained more than 1%, now at $1.3733, during the evening of June 24 2016. Furthermore, Nelson Wilson from ETX Capital stated, "Although the comments came from just two ministers who don't necessarily speak for the Barnier team as such, there is a sense that the direction of travel for the UK with regards Brexit is a lot more positive than it was prior to December". And according to them the pound was 0.2 % higher than the euro, which lays at e (Euro) 1.12810. Which made several traders concerned about poor Christmas trading. But it has been decided that the sterling will continue to grow through the next couple months.


Fully edited article: Pound hits highest level since Brexit vote

The sterling has officially jumped to its highest level, compared to the U.S. dollar. It gained more than 1%, now at $1.3733, during the evening of June 24, 2016.

Furthermore, Neil Wilson from ETX Capital stated, "Although the comments came from just two ministers who don't necessarily speak for the Barnier team as such, there is a sense that the direction of travel for the UK with regards to Brexit is a lot more positive than it was prior to December."

According to EXT Capital the pound was 0.2 % higher than the euro, which lays at €1.12810, making several traders concerned about poor Christmas trading.


      • You need to work on: making sure you're spelling things taken directly from the article correctly, staying in one voice throughout the sentence (active, passive, etc), and clarifying what information comes from where concerning the article.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42661361




Most people who try one cigarette become daily smokers, study says

New research suggests that at least two thirds of people who try smoking go on to become daily smokers. New data, accumulated from the population of the U.K.,U.S., and New Zealand, has found that 60.3% of people who tried smoking an estimated 68.9% become hooked.

      • Use the past tense "became" since you are referring to a past study; change "who tried" to "have tried" so it reads more clearly; New research suggests that at least two thirds of people who try smoking go on to become daily smokers. New data, accumulated from the population of the U.K., U.S., and New Zealand, has found that 60.3% of people have tried smoking, and an estimated 68.9% became hooked.

Furthermore, Lead researcher Prof Peter Hajek, from the University of Queen Mary, in London, has come out to say that "the conversion rate from first-time smoker to daily smoker is surprisingly high...".

      • No need to capitalize "lead"; no need for the period after the quote, ending on ellipses is enough; Furthermore, lead researcher Prof Peter Hajek, from the University of Queen Mary, in London, has come out to say that "the conversion rate from first-time smoker to daily smoker is surprisingly high..."

She later used these statistics to enforce the " Prevent Smoking" campaign.

      • Make sure to reference the proper gender of the person you're quoting (he); watch your spacing while you type, as you have a few unnecessary spaces; He later used these statistics to enforce the "Prevent Smoking" campaign.

And by 2016 only 15.5% of adults in the U.K. smoked compared to the 19.9% who smoked in 2010, ultimately showing the effectiveness of this movement.

      • Add a comma after 2016 to create pause; And by 2016, only 15.5% of adults in the U.K. smoked compared to the 19.9% who smoked in 2010, ultimately showing the effectiveness of this movement.

It has been declining eversince and it has been announced to gradually decline in the upcoming years.

      • Put a space between "ever since" because it is not one word, and add a comma after; It has been declining ever since, and it has been announced to gradually decline in the upcoming years.


Most people who try one cigarette become daily smokers, study says

New research suggests that at least two thirds of people who try smoking go on to become daily smokers. New data, accumulated from the population of the U.K.,U.S., and New Zealand, has found that 60.3% of people who tried smoking an estimated 68.9% become hooked. Furthermore, Lead researcher Prof Peter Hajek, from the University of Queen Mary, in London, has come out to say that "the conversion rate from first-time smoker to daily smoker is surprisingly high...". She later used these statistics to enforce the " Prevent Smoking" campaign. And by 2016 only 15.5% of adults in the U.K. smoked compared to the 19.9% who smoked in 2010, ultimately showing the effectiveness of this movement. It has been declining eversince and it has been announced to gradually decline in the upcoming years.


Fully edited article: Most people who try one cigarette become daily smokers, study says

New research suggests that at least two thirds of people who try smoking go on to become daily smokers. New data, accumulated from the population of the U.K., U.S., and New Zealand, has found that 60.3% of people have tried smoking, and an estimated 68.9% became hooked. Furthermore, lead researcher Prof Peter Hajek, from the University of Queen Mary, in London, has come out to say that "the conversion rate from first-time smoker to daily smoker is surprisingly high..." He later used these statistics to enforce the "Prevent Smoking" campaign. And by 2016, only 15.5% of adults in the U.K. smoked compared to the 19.9% who smoked in 2010, ultimately showing the effectiveness of this movement. It has been declining ever since, and it has been announced to gradually decline in the upcoming years.


      • You need to work on: spacing and making sure everything is spelled correctly. (Great improvement!)

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/health-42619664




Oil prices rise to hit four-year high of $70 a barrel

Oil has become expensive in these last few years. The RAC, a motoring group, stated that rising oil prices could lead to higher forecourt costs for these motorists.

      • Saying "these motorists" makes it appear that the gas price has only risen for the RAC, so it's best to eliminate "these" to encompass the effect for all people; Oil has become expensive in these last few years. The RAC, a motoring group, stated that rising oil prices could lead to higher forecourt costs for motorists.

Oil prices have increased 1.5%, barrels now cost about $64.51.

      • It's important to use a coordinating conjunction with a comma; Oil prices have increased 1.5%, and barrels now cost about $64.51.

Furthermore, according to the data of the AA, supermarkets lowered petrol prices several times, compared to last year, to a new low of 111.8p a liter in July.

      • The comma after "several times" can be eliminated because it creates an awkward pause; "the data of the AA" can be simplified to "the AA's data"; Furthermore, according to the AA's data, supermarkets lowered petrol prices several times compared to last year, to a new low of 111.8p a liter in July.

And in December, petrol was an average of 117.6p a liter at supermarkets and 121.9p each liter at other cheap outlets.

      • Another comma is needed to break the sentence and present a new idea; since you reference the liters as "a liter," keep calling them that for consistency instead of using "each"; And in December, petrol was an average of 117.6p a liter at supermarkets, and 121.9p a liter at other cheap outlets.

It has been rising ever since 2010 and it has been announced that its going to keep rising for another couple years.

      • This sentence can be reworded so it sounds better; It has been rising since 2010, and will continue to rise for another couple of years.


Oil prices rise to hit four-year high of $70 a barrel

Oil has become expensive in these last few years. The RAC, a motoring group, stated that rising oil prices could lead to higher forecourt costs for these motorists. Oil prices have increased 1.5%, barrels now cost about $64.51. Furthermore, according to the data of the AA, supermarkets lowered petrol prices several times, compared to last year, to a new low of 111.8p a liter in July. And in December, petrol was an average of 117.6p a liter at supermarkets and 121.9p each liter at other cheap outlets. It has been rising ever since 2010 and it has been announced that its going to keep rising for another couple years.


Fully edited article: Oil prices rise to hit four-year high of $70 a barrel

Oil has become expensive in these last few years. The RAC, a motoring group, stated that rising oil prices could lead to higher forecourt costs for motorists. Oil prices have increased 1.5%, and barrels now cost about $64.51. Furthermore, according to the AA's data, supermarkets lowered petrol prices several times compared to last year, to a new low of 111.8p a liter in July. And in December, petrol was an average of 117.6p a liter at supermarkets, and 121.9p a liter at other cheap outlets. It has been rising since 2010, and will continue to rise for another couple of years.


      • You need to work on: punctuation and its placement. Great improvement with this summary!

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42653988




Egyptian mummy's secrets revealed at hi-tech laboratory

U.S. scientists are using a new form of x-ray to scan the insides of Egyptian mummies. This will be the first time in history that a a synchroton x-ray will be used to scan a mummy.

      • Misspelling of synchrotron; you can introduce the synchrotron x-ray at the beginning of the first sentence and then state the "first time in history" fact; U.S. scientists are using a new form of x-ray, synchrotron, to scan the insides of Egyptian mummies, marking the first time in history that a synchrotron x-ray will be used to scan a mummy.

Its purpose is to produce an extremely detailed three dimensional analysis of the mummies body.

      • Hyphenate three-dimensional; use the possessive form of "mummy" here; Its purpose is to produce an extremely detailed three-dimensional analysis of the mummy's body.

It will also detect any hidden objects.

      • This sentence seems incomplete, state that the objects are beneath the mummy's wrappings; It will also detect any hidden objects beneath the mummy's wrappings.

The mummy thats gonna be used contains the body of a five-year old girl who died about 1,900 years ago.

      • "That's gonna be used" seems to casual for an article summary, try using something like "to be examined"; The mummy to be examined is the body of a five-year-old girl who died about 1,900 years ago.

This young and solemn face is now being investigated by the most ultra-modern technology to date.


Egyptian mummy's secrets revealed at hi-tech laboratory

U.S. scientists are using a new form of x-ray to scan the insides of Egyptian mummies. This will be the first time in history that a a synchroton x-ray will be used to scan a mummy. Its purpose is to produce an extremely detailed three dimensional analysis of the mummies body. It will also detect any hidden objects. The mummy thats gonna be used contains the body of a five-year old girl who died about 1,900 years ago. This young and solemn face is now being investigated by the most ultra-modern technology to date.


Fully edited article: Egyptian mummy's secrets revealed at hi-tech laboratory

U.S. scientists are using a new form of x-ray, synchrotron, to scan the insides of Egyptian mummies, marking the first time in history that a synchrotron x-ray will be used to scan a mummy. Its purpose is to produce an extremely detailed three-dimensional analysis of the mummy's body. It will also detect any hidden objects beneath the mummy's wrappings. The mummy to be examined is the body of a five-year-old girl who died about 1,900 years ago. This young and solemn face is now being investigated by the most ultra-modern technology to date.


      • You need to work on: watching spelling and punctuation errors, and not using language that's too "casual" in the summaries.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/business-42218032




US storm to bring record-breaking low temperatures

The east coast of America has witnessed a record breaking freezing "bomb-cyclone" that has put the section of America in a freezer.

      • Capitalize East Coast as it is a place name; hyphenate "record-breaking" and eliminate the hyphen in "bomb cyclone"; The East Coast of America has witnessed a record-breaking freezing "bomb cyclone" that has put the section of America in a freezer.

Temperatures are expected to fall below -20 F in some parts of the country as stated by the National Weather Service .

      • A comma is needed before any statement, so include one before "as stated"; Temperatures are expected to fall below -20F in some parts of the country, as stated by the National Weather Service.

Nineteen people have died due to this hard weather and two have died in Canada.

      • If you're going to state a location for one half of the reported deaths, it's important to clarify where the location is for the other half; Nineteen people in the U.S. have died due to this hard weather, and two have died in Canada.

Furthermore, there has been snow in Florida this has not happened before, and this now a problem due to global warming.

      • Take out the part about global warming, since you state it at the end of the summary and it seems repetitive; replace "this" with "which"; Furthermore, there has been snow in Florida, which has not happened before.

In Boston, Massachusttes there has been one feet of snow, it is now a new record since 1978. This recent snowfall and snow storm has been due to the climate change.

      • Incorrect spelling of Massachusetts; use "foot" instead of "feet" since there is only one single foot; change the last sentence into plural storms since this is a countrywide events being talked about; In Boston, Massachusetts, there has been one foot of snow, a new record since 1978. These recent snowfalls and storms are due to climate change.


US storm to bring record-breaking low temperatures

The east coast of America has witnessed a record breaking freezing "bomb-cyclone" that has put the section of America in a freezer. Temperatures are expected to fall below -20 F in some parts of the country as stated by the National Weather Service . Nineteen people have died due to this hard weather and two have died in Canada. Furthermore, there has been snow in Florida this has not happened before, and this now a problem due to global warming. In Boston, Massachusttes there has been one feet of snow, it is now a new record since 1978. This recent snowfall and snow storm has been due to the climate change.


Fully edited article: US storm to bring record-breaking low temperatures

The East Coast of America has witnessed a record-breaking freezing "bomb cyclone" that has put the section of America in a freezer. Temperatures are expected to fall below -20F in some parts of the country, as stated by the National Weather Service. Nineteen people in the U.S. have died due to this hard weather, and two have died in Canada. Furthermore, there has been snow in Florida, which has not happened before. In Boston, Massachusetts, there has been one foot of snow, a new record since 1978. These recent snowfalls and storms are due to climate change.


      • You need to work on: making sure everything is spelled correctly, watching your punctuation, and using proper tenses and words that fit with the rest of the sentence/paragraph.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42576978




Intel, ARM and AMD chip scare: What you need to know

Nearly all computers have been exposed to security flaws, which has attracted many hackers. There are two specific security flaws: The meltdown and the spectre, the meltdown affects laptops and internet servers with intel chips.

      • Capitalize the names of the flaws, as they are capitalized in the article; capitalize Intel since it is a company name; use "have attracted" since it refers to more than one flaw and hacker; after you list the two flaws, end the sentence, then begin a new one stating the flaw of the Meltdown; Nearly all computers have been exposed to security flaws, which have attracted many hackers. There are two specific security flaws: the Meltdown and the Spectre. The Meltdown affects laptops and internet servers with Intel chips.

On the other hand, the spectre can affect chips that are located in smartphones and tablets.

      • Capitalize Spectre; On the other hand, Spectre can affect chips that are located in smartphones and tablets.

These bugs can lead to stolen information such as, credit cards and passwords.

      • The commas should be placed after "information" instead of "such as"; These bugs can lead to stolen information, such as credit cards and passwords.

But large incorporations are now acting on this issue, Microsoft, Apple and Linux are now issuing patches. These patches include software updates, such as macOS 10.32.2 and a Meltdown patch for windows 10.

      • "Incorporations" should be changed to "corporations" because Inc. is just a title for the business, not the business itself; make sure you write the correct version of macOS according to the article; end the sentence at "issue" so the corporation idea can be its own standalone idea; use the patches description in the new sentence you create; But large corporations are now acting on this issue. Microsoft, Apple, and Linux are now issuing patches that include software updates such as macOS 10.13.2 and a Meltdown patch for Windows 10.


Intel, ARM and AMD chip scare: What you need to know

Nearly all computers have been exposed to security flaws, which has attracted many hackers. There are two specific security flaws: The meltdown and the spectre, the meltdown affects laptops and internet servers with intel chips. On the other hand, the spectre can affect chips that are located in smartphones and tablets. These bugs can lead to stolen information such as, credit cards and passwords. But large incorporations are now acting on this issue, Microsoft, Apple and Linux are now issuing patches. These patches include software updates, such as macOS 10.32.2 and a Meltdown patch for windows 10.


Fully edited article: Intel, ARM and AMD chip scare: What you need to know

Nearly all computers have been exposed to security flaws, which have attracted many hackers. There are two specific security flaws: the Meltdown and the Spectre. The Meltdown affects laptops and internet servers with Intel chips. On the other hand, Spectre can affect chips that are located in smartphones and tablets. These bugs can lead to stolen information, such as credit cards and passwords. But large corporations are now acting on this issue. Microsoft, Apple, and Linux are now issuing patches that include software updates such as macOS 10.13.2 and a Meltdown patch for Windows 10.


      • You need to work on: seeing areas where a new sentence would be handy, such as after stating a list of things and then elaborating upon them.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-42562303




The hacks that left us exposed in 2017

      • Even if it isn't initially capitalized, for the purpose of the summary capitalize all important words in the title; The Hacks That Left Us Exposed in 2017

2017 has been the year of cyberattacks, multiple companies have been victims of hacks that have been led by hackers.

      • These sentences would read better if they were separate; "that have been" seems redundant with the "have been" that's already stated, so it can be taken out; 2017 has been the year of cyberattacks. Multiple companies have been victims of hacks led by hackers.

For example, Equifax one of the largest credit bureaus was hacked by cybercriminals in July and they stole the data of 145 million people, this included social security etc.

      • Some punctuation is needed to break up the sentence; slight rewording helps it flow better; use "who" to signify that the hackers stole the info, not Equifax; For example, Equifax, one of the largest credit bureaus, was hacked by cybercriminals in July, who stole the data of 145 million people, including social security numbers.

And on April a group called the "Shadow brokers" leaked a "suite of hacking tools widely believed to belong to the National Security Agency".

      • "in" April should be used instead of "on"; capitalize the entire name of the brokers; place periods within quotation marks; And in April, a group called the "Shadow Brokers" leaked a "suite of hacking tools widely believed to belong to the National Security Agency."

And, finally, in June a group called the Notpetya hacked some Ukrainian businesses by using tax software. This led the company to lose $300 million.

      • No need for "And" again; make sure you spell the group names correctly; these two sentences can be combined together to state cause and effect all in one; Finally, in June, a group called the NotPetya hacked some Ukrainian businesses by using tax software, leading the company to lose $300 million.

In conclusion, this is how how 2017 was the golden year for cyber attacks.

      • No need for "in conclusion"; just state the point of the article upfront; 2017 was the golden year for cyberattacks.

The hacks that left us exposed in 2017

2017 has been the year of cyberattacks, multiple companies have been victims of hacks that have been led by hackers. For example, Equifax one of the largest credit bureaus was hacked by cybercriminals in July and they stole the data of 145 million people, this included social security etc. And on April a group called the "Shadow brokers" leaked a "suite of hacking tools widely believed to belong to the National Security Agency". And, finally, in June a group called the Notpetya hacked some Ukrainian businesses by using tax software. This led the company to lose $300 million. In conclusion, this is how how 2017 was the golden year for cyber attacks.


Fully edited article: The Hacks That Left Us Exposed in 2017

2017 has been the year of cyberattacks. Multiple companies have been victims of hacks led by hackers. For example, Equifax, one of the largest credit bureaus, was hacked by cybercriminals in July, who stole the data of 145 million people, including social security numbers. And in April, a group called the "Shadow Brokers" leaked a "suite of hacking tools widely believed to belong to the National Security Agency." Finally, in June, a group called the NotPetya hacked some Ukrainian businesses by using tax software, leading the company to lose $300 million. 2017 was the golden year for cyberattacks.


      • You need to work on: not using "in conclusion," putting punctuation within the quotation marks, making sure everything is spelled correctly, and putting similar sentence topic ideas all in one sentence.

Edited by Sydney


http://money.cnn.com/2017/12/18/technology/biggest-cyberattacks-of-the-year/index.html




The quest for durable resistance

      • Always capitalize titles; The Quest for Durable Resistance

In recent centuries, agriculture has transformed the human race from hunter and gatherers into city people but, it wasn’t easy for starters.

      • The correct phrase is "hunter-gatherers"; some slight rewording at the end of the sentence lets it read better; In recent centuries, agriculture has transformed the human race from hunter-gatherers into city people, but it wasn’t easy in the beginning.

For example, the domestication of crops allowed humans to stay in one place to settle unlike their predecessor who had to travel to find shelter. But there were some plants that were constantly plagued with disease.

      • This would be a good place to use "For starters"; use a comma to combine these sentences into one; For starters, the domestication of crops allowed humans to stay in one place to settle, unlike their predecessor who had to travel to find shelter, but there were some plants that were constantly plagued with disease.

And in order to get rid of this disease people would sacrifice animals to the gods in order to prevent these sacrifices from happening.

      • Commas are helpful here to give the sentence pause; I think "diseases" is the correct word rather than "sacrifices" at the end (just use "them" instead of repeating it); use the plural form of "disease" because there were most likely many different kinds; In order to get rid of these diseases, people would sacrifice animals to the gods in order to prevent them from happening.

Furthermore, in reality this was caused by plant pathogens which effected the plants immune system. In conclusion, this is how these diseases blocked humans from developing the agricultural system.

      • No need for "furthermore" or "in conclusion"; these sentences can be combined into one that gives a more impactful/less choppy conclusion; In reality, this was caused by plant pathogens which effected the plants immune system and blocked humans from developing the agricultural system.


The quest for durable resistance

In recent centuries, agriculture has transformed the human race from hunter and gatherers into city people but, it wasn’t easy for starters. For example, the domestication of crops allowed humans to stay in one place to settle unlike their predecessor who had to travel to find shelter. But there were some plants that were constantly plagued with disease. And in order to get rid of this disease people would sacrifice animals to the gods in order to prevent these sacrifices from happening. Furthermore, in reality this was caused by plant pathogens which effected the plants immune system. In conclusion, this is how these diseases blocked humans from developing the agricultural system.


Fully edited article: The Quest for Durable Resistance

In recent centuries, agriculture has transformed the human race from hunter-gatherers into city people, but it wasn’t easy in the beginning. For starters, the domestication of crops allowed humans to stay in one place to settle, unlike their predecessor who had to travel to find shelter, but there were some plants that were constantly plagued with disease. In order to get rid of these diseases, people would sacrifice animals to the gods in order to prevent them from happening. In reality, this was caused by plant pathogens which effected the plants immune system and blocked humans from developing the agricultural system.


      • You need to work on: not using "furthermore" and "in conclusion," watching your word choices, and seeing the best way to get the point across without the sentences being too choppy.

Edited by Sydney


http://science.sciencemag.org/content/358/6370/1541




Design principles of a human mimetic humanoid: Humanoid platform to study human intelligence and internal body system

      • You can condense the title if it's really long; try Using Humanoids to Study Humans

Human’s have been trying to understand the human system, such as the movement of muscles, and how the brain functions on a day to day basis.

      • No need for possessive form of "humans"; comma placement should be after "functions"; hyphens needed in "day-to-day"; Humans have been trying to understand the human system, such as the movement of muscles and how the brain functions, on a day-to-day basis.

But now scientists are determined to create a replica of this life form into robots, they have imitated the human musculoskeletal.

      • Some word choices and restructuring can help this sentence read more easily; the second sentence reads incomplete, so it's best to reword it for fuller flow; But now, scientists are determined to create a replica of this life form into robots through imitating the human musculoskeletal system.

Some other research teams have been able to "successfully developed musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view”.

      • Need to use the present tense of "develop"; make sure to keep punctuation inside the quotation marks; Some other research teams have been able to "successfully develop musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view.”

Furthermore, they successfully created the moving bodies of Kenshiro and Kengoro, two robots with the ability to act like a human being. Their bodies "successfully developed musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view”.

      • No need for buzzwords/phrases like "furthermore"; the second sentence is a repeat of the previous one, so it can be eliminated; "human beings" should be used since you're referring to more than one robot; They successfully created the moving bodies of Kenshiro and Kengoro, two robots with the ability to act like a human beings.

In conclusion, the ability to replicate human life has now been achieved by the scientists working hard on the subject.

      • No need for buzzwords/phrases like "in conclusion"; The ability to replicate human life has now been achieved by the scientists working hard on the subject.


Design principles of a human mimetic humanoid: Humanoid platform to study human intelligence and internal body system

Human’s have been trying to understand the human system, such as the movement of muscles, and how the brain functions on a day to day basis. But now scientists are determined to create a replica of this life form into robots, they have imitated the human musculoskeletal. Some other research teams have been able to "successfully developed musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view”. Furthermore, they successfully created the moving bodies of Kenshiro and Kengoro, two robots with the ability to act like a human being. Their bodies "successfully developed musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view”. In conclusion, the ability to replicate human life has now been achieved by the scientists working hard on the subject.


Fully edited article: Using Humanoids to Study Humans

Humans have been trying to understand the human system, such as the movement of muscles and how the brain functions, on a day-to-day basis. But now, scientists are determined to create a replica of this life form into robots through imitating the human musculoskeletal system. Some other research teams have been able to "successfully develop musculoskeletal robots from an anthropomimetic point of view.” They successfully created the moving bodies of Kenshiro and Kengoro, two robots with the ability to act like a human beings. The ability to replicate human life has now been achieved by the scientists working hard on the subject.


      • You need to work on: not using words like "furthermore" and "in conclusion," keeping punctuation within quotation marks, and watching word tenses.

Edited by Sydney


http://robotics.sciencemag.org/content/2/13/eaaq0899.full




Pentagon ran secret multi-million dollar UFO programme

      • You can switch up the title to make it more eye-catching; Secret Pentagon UFO Programme

The pentagon has reportedly been running a secret program that investigated the weird occurrences of UFO’s.

      • Make sure to keep the same tense within sentences; no need for apostrophe in "UFO's"; capitalize important building names; The Pentagon has reportedly been running a secret program that investigates the weird occurrences of UFOs.

The C.I.A. has released “13m” pages of documents relating UFO’S.

      • Make sure you write "relating to," otherwise the sentence reads funny; The C.I.A. has released “13m” pages of documents relating to UFOs.

The leader of this program was Harry Reid, a “retired Democratic senator who was the senate majority leader at the time “.

      • Watch placement of closing parentheses and punctuation; capitalize branches of government; The leader of this program was Harry Reid, a "retired Democratic senator who was the senate majority leader at the time."

Furthermore, the program costed the Department of Defense more than $20 million. As a result it was shut down in order to save costs.

      • No need for words like "furthermore"; "costed" should be "cost"; these sentences can be combined into one; The program cost the Department of Defense more than $20 million, and was shut down in order to save costs as a result.

In conclusion, the Pentagon has wasted a hefty amount of money in able to find about these mysterious “UFO’s”.

      • This last sentence has too much opinion and can be eliminated


Pentagon ran secret multi-million dollar UFO programme

The pentagon has reportedly been running a secret program that investigated the weird occurrences of UFO’s. The C.I.A. has released “13m” pages of documents relating UFO’S. The leader of this program was Harry Reid, a “retired Democratic senator who was the senate majority leader at the time “. Furthermore, the program costed the Department of Defense more than $20 million. As a result it was shut down in order to save costs. In conclusion, the Pentagon has wasted a hefty amount of money in able to find about these mysterious “UFO’s”.


Fully edited article: Secret Pentagon UFO Programme

The Pentagon has reportedly been running a secret program that investigates the weird occurrences of UFOs. The C.I.A. has released “13m” pages of documents relating to UFOs. The leader of this program was Harry Reid, a "retired Democratic senator who was the Senate majority leader at the time." The program cost the Department of Defense more than $20 million, and was shut down in order to save costs as a result.


      • You need to work on: eliminating opinion from article summaries, capitalization, and punctuation.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42379749




U.S. tax bill: Republicans agree sweeping changes

The Republicans have revealed their new tax bill, which has been "the biggest overhaul of the country's tax system in 30 years".

      • Punctuation goes within quotation marks; The Republicans have revealed their new tax bill, which has been "the biggest overhaul of the country's tax system in 30 years."

One of the key (and controversial) feature of the new bill is that it reduces corporate tax from 35% to 21%, ultimately benefiting the corporate giants such as apple and google.

      • The percentages part has to do with the article, the opinion on the "corporate giants" does not; One key feature of the bill is its reduction of corporate tax rates from 35% to 21%.

This tax cut, from the democrats point of view, will "favour only the rich and offer little to the middle class", it has also been confirmed that this new tax bill will add $1.4 trillion to our current $20 trillion national debt.

      • Break this up into two sentences; some word choices can be made so these sentences read more clearly; watch your quote punctuation; Democrats fear the tax cut will "favour only the rich and offer little to the middle class." It has been confirmed that this new tax bill will add $1.4 trillion to the U.S.' current $20 trillion national debt.

Furthermore, Marco Rubio wasn't going to support the tax bill until they changed the child tax credit. Also Senator Corker wasn't going to approve the bill either way, momentarily stopping the process.

      • These two sentences can be meshed into one; word choices can help it read more fluidly vs. choppy; Senator Marco Rubio withheld support for the tax bill until they changed the child tax credit, and Senator Bob Corker initially opposed the bill, but agreed to back it despite his reservations.

In conclusion, the new tax bill has been in turmoil every since it's been shown publicly, and that itself can hurt the legacy of the republicans.

      • Too opinionated, cannot include


U.S. tax bill: Republicans agree sweeping changes

The Republicans have revealed their new tax bill, which has been "the biggest overhaul of the country's tax system in 30 years". One of the key (and controversial) feature of the new bill is that it reduces corporate tax from 35% to 21%, ultimately benefiting the corporate giants such as apple and google. This tax cut, from the democrats point of view, will "favour only the rich and offer little to the middle class", it has also been confirmed that this new tax bill will add $1.4 trillion to our current $20 trillion national debt. Furthermore, Marco Rubio wasn't going to support the tax bill until they changed the child tax credit. Also Senator Corker wasn't going to approve the bill either way, momentarily stopping the process. In conclusion, the new tax bill has been in turmoil every since it's been shown publicly, and that itself can hurt the legacy of the republicans.


Fully edited article: U.S. tax bill: Republicans agree sweeping changes

The Republicans have revealed their new tax bill, which has been "the biggest overhaul of the country's tax system in 30 years." One key feature of the bill is its reduction of corporate tax rates from 35% to 21%. Democrats fear the tax cut will "favour only the rich and offer little to the middle class." It has been confirmed that this new tax bill will add $1.4 trillion to the U.S.' current $20 trillion national debt. Senator Marco Rubio withheld support for the tax bill until they changed the child tax credit, and Senator Bob Corker initially opposed the bill, but agreed to back it despite his reservations.


      • You need to work on: quotation punctuation and keeping personal opinion out of the summaries.

Edited by Sydney


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42375149




Zimbabwe ex-minister Chombo in court on corruption charges

Ignatius Chombo, the ex-finance minister of Zimbabwe, will soon appear in court in the city of Harare. He is currently facing charges of corruption due to his time as a local government minister more than ten years ago. He was taken into custody by the military after they took power, which was legal,

      • This can be reworded so it reads a bit clearer; it's better to break the sentences up before the quote so it doesn't appear as a run-on sentence; there are a few word choices you should consider to clear up confusion of what was legal; Ignatius Chombo, the ex-finance minister of Zimbabwe, will soon appear in court in Harare city, facing charges of corruption during his time as a local government minister more than ten years ago. He was taken into custody by the military after they legally took power.

as stated by the high court, " The actions of the Zimbabwe defense forces to stop the usurping of power by those close to former president Robert Mugabe are constitutional".

      • Since the sentence is broken up, watch capitalization; be careful of punctuation errors, periods belong inside quotation marks; "As stated by" is a bit too flowery; The high court stated, "The actions of the Zimbabwe defense forces to stop the usurping of power by those close to former president Robert Mugabe are constitutional."

Mr. Chombo has apparently received hospital treatment for injuries he got while in military detention. This takeover was to "prevent the sacking of Mrnangagwa" who became the president of Zimbabwe on Friday.

      • No need to use "apparently" if the event happened; make sure all names are spelled correctly; a comma is needed to end the quote; Mr. Chombo has received hospital treatment for injuries he got while in military detention. This takeover was to "prevent the sacking of Mr. Mnangagwa," who became the president of Zimbabwe on Friday.

In conclusion, this is a historic day in Zimbabwe, a day that can end all corruption, and the day where the new government will be filled with people with high morals.

      • This line is still a bit opinionated, take out the parts that have personal opinion; This is a historic day in Zimbabwe.


Zimbabwe ex-minister Chombo in court on corruption charges

Ignatius Chombo, the ex-finance minister of Zimbabwe, will soon appear in court in the city of Harare. He is currently facing charges of corruption due to his time as a local government minister more than ten years ago. He was taken into custody by the military after they took power, which was legal, as stated by the high court, " The actions of the Zimbabwe defense forces to stop the usurping of power by those close to former president Robert Mugabe are constitutional". Mr. Chombo has apparently received hospital treatment for injuries he got while in military detention. This takeover was to "prevent the sacking of Mrnangagwa" who became the president of Zimbabwe on Friday. In conclusion, this is a historic day in Zimbabwe, a day that can end all corruption, and the day where the new government will be filled with people with high morals.


Fully edited article: Zimbabwe ex-minister Chombo in court on corruption charges

Ignatius Chombo, the ex-finance minister of Zimbabwe, will soon appear in court in Harare city, facing charges of corruption during his time as a local government minister more than ten years ago. He was taken into custody by the military after they legally took power. The high court stated, "The actions of the Zimbabwe defense forces to stop the usurping of power by those close to former president Robert Mugabe are constitutional." Mr. Chombo has received hospital treatment for injuries he got while in military detention. This takeover was to "prevent the sacking of Mr. Mnangagwa," who became the president of Zimbabwe on Friday. This is a historic day in Zimbabwe.


      • You need to work on: Better word choices, condensing run-on sentences, and keeping opinion out of the summary.

Edited by Sydney

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-42122224



Apple has delayed the launch of its smart speaker. As written in the article, " Apple delays launch of smart speaker", the company is trying to compete with google and amazon.

      • Always capitalize the larger words in an article title; always capitalize company names; keep commas within any quotation marks; Apple has delayed the launch of its smart speaker. As written in the article "Apple Delays Launch of Smart Speaker," the company is trying to compete with Google and Amazon.

As stated in the article, "The electronics giant said the device, which was due to be released in December this year, still needed development work.It said the HomePod would be ready to go on shop shelves in the US, UK and Australia "early in 2018". The news is a blow to its plans to take on rivals Amazon and Google in the growing market for home devices that use AI to help consumers."

      • If you write a quote within a quote, you only need the single quotation mark, not the double; try mixing up the phrase "As stated in the article," because you use it frequently and it's too repetitive; The article states, "The electronics giant said the device, which was due to be released in December this year, still needed development work. It said the HomePod would be ready to go on shops shelves in the U.S., UK, and Australia 'early in 2018.' The news is a blow to its plans to take on rivals Amazon and Google in the growing market for home devices that use AI to help consumers."

In other words its trying to be in the new wave of technology in order to get money ( by making it very expensive). Furthermore, this delay can cost apple greatly.

      • This first statement comes off as opinionated, it should be taken out so as to not be controversial; use "could" in the second sentence since it's talking about a future event; no need for "furthermore"; capitalize company names; This delay could cost Apple greatly.

As stated in the article, "In a statement sent to news organizations, Apple said the wireless speaker needed "a little more time before it's ready for our customers".The delay will mean Apple misses the lucrative holiday season during which many consumers buy gadgets as gifts.The gadget was first unveiled in June this year when Apple said it would go on sale in the US for $349 (£265). In the UK it was expected to cost £350."

      • Mix up "As stated in the article" again; make sure you're using spaces between each sentence; Continued in the article, "In a statement sent to news organizations, Apple said the wireless speaker needed 'a little more time before it's ready for our customers.' The delay will mean Apple misses the lucrative holiday season during which many consumers but gadgets as gifts. The gadget was first unveiled in June this year when Apple said it would go on sale in the U.S. for $349 (£265). In the UK, it was expected to cost £350."

This can cost apple the opportunity to make a lot of cash, in a way this shows how the company cares about the quality of their products rather than just releasing and hope they do good just because the apple symbol is smacked right into it.

      • Eliminate this sentence, as it has nothing to do with the article and is all opinion

Anyways, the article also states,"Like them it was designed to play music and act as a hands-free helper letting owners set timers, maintain shopping lists and get reports about the news, weather and other subjects.Since Apple unveiled the HomePod both Google and Amazon have added new models to their ranges of smart speakers, intensifying the competition with Apple."

      • Mix up "the article states" once more; using "anyways" comes off as unprofessional and disinterested; The article concludes, "Like them it was designed to play music and act as a hands-free helper letting owners set timers, maintain shopping lists and get reports about the news, weather and other subjects.Since Apple unveiled the HomePod both Google and Amazon have added new models to their ranges of smart speakers, intensifying the competition with Apple."


Apple has delayed the launch of its smart speaker. As written in the article, " Apple delays launch of smart speaker", the company is trying to compete with google and amazon. As stated in the article, "The electronics giant said the device, which was due to be released in December this year, still needed development work.It said the HomePod would be ready to go on shop shelves in the US, UK and Australia "early in 2018". The news is a blow to its plans to take on rivals Amazon and Google in the growing market for home devices that use AI to help consumers." In other words its trying to be in the new wave of technology in order to get money ( by making it very expensive). Furthermore, this delay can cost apple greatly. As stated in the article, "In a statement sent to news organizations, Apple said the wireless speaker needed "a little more time before it's ready for our customers".The delay will mean Apple misses the lucrative holiday season during which many consumers buy gadgets as gifts.The gadget was first unveiled in June this year when Apple said it would go on sale in the US for $349 (£265). In the UK it was expected to cost £350." This can cost apple the opportunity to make a lot of cash, in a way this shows how the company cares about the quality of their products rather than just releasing and hope they do good just because the apple symbol is smacked right into it. Anyways, the article also states,"Like them it was designed to play music and act as a hands-free helper letting owners set timers, maintain shopping lists and get reports about the news, weather and other subjects.Since Apple unveiled the HomePod both Google and Amazon have added new models to their ranges of smart speakers, intensifying the competition with Apple."


Fully edited article: Apple Delays Launch of Smart Speaker

Apple has delayed the launch of its smart speaker. As written in the article "Apple Delays Launch of Smart Speaker," the company is trying to compete with Google and Amazon. The article states, "The electronics giant said the device, which was due to be released in December this year, still needed development work. It said the HomePod would be ready to go on shops shelves in the U.S., UK, and Australia 'early in 2018.' The news is a blow to its plans to take on rivals Amazon and Google in the growing market for home devices that use AI to help consumers." This delay could cost Apple greatly. Continued in the article, "In a statement sent to news organizations, Apple said the wireless speaker needed 'a little more time before it's ready for our customers.' The delay will mean Apple misses the lucrative holiday season during which many consumers but gadgets as gifts. The gadget was first unveiled in June this year when Apple said it would go on sale in the U.S. for $349 (£265). In the UK, it was expected to cost £350." The article concludes, "Like them it was designed to play music and act as a hands-free helper letting owners set timers, maintain shopping lists and get reports about the news, weather and other subjects.Since Apple unveiled the HomePod both Google and Amazon have added new models to their ranges of smart speakers, intensifying the competition with Apple."


      • You need to work on: providing a source (an actual link to the article), keeping personal opinion out of the summary, and summarizing the article in your own words, not just pulling quotes without much further explanation.

Edited by Sydney



Unwanted thoughts have always been a problem with mankind, but dont fear scientists are here with an elaborate explanation on why this happens. As written in the article, "Scientists find key to unwanted thoughts", scientists explain the reasons why the brain does this. One reason is because there is a region in the brain thats responsible with memory, as stated in the article, "They have identified a chemical in the brain's "memory" region that allows us to suppress unwanted thoughts.The discovery may help explain why some people can't shift persistent intrusive thoughts - a common symptom of anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and schizophrenia". Ou brain is at fault with us being in a bad mood and having mental issues. Another reason is because of our neurotransmitter, as stated in the article, "Gaba is the brain's main "inhibitory" neurotransmitter. That means, when it's released by one nerve cell it suppresses the activities of other cells to which it is connected. They found people who had the highest concentrations of Gaba in their brain's hippocampus (or memory hub) were best at blocking unwanted thoughts or memories". In other words, our neurotransmitter suppress the activities of other cells causing us to have unwanted thoughts going through our head. One last reason is because our strong ability of being self conscience, as stated in the article, "Researchers say controlling our thoughts is "fundamental to wellbeing".




Science has truly changed our lives, from the way we think to the way we hold ourselves. As written in the article, "How science transformed the world in 100 years" by BBC, we the various changes in life due to science! One example would be the creation of the Gps, as stated in the article, "The GPS in a smart phone depends on correcting the time from satellites using both the special and general theories of relativity - theories that people once thought would have no practical value. I wonder how many understand all the discoveries that make the little box work". The Gps has really changed our lives without us knowing it, navigation is now more simple than ever, and we take it for granted! Furthermore science has helped us with the creation of computer, as stated in the article, "Today, much of how we see the world is through an electronic screen. Computers in all their many guises are sources of knowledge, but they are also increasingly how we present ourselves to the rest of the world, and how we interact with others". Computers have made our lives more easier than ever before, we can know communicate with people around the world in minutes! Unlike 100 years ago where we had to write letters and it would take days or months to deliver. Lastly, science has helped us go to space, as stated in the article, "From the Apollo missions to the Cassini probe, the Hubble telescope to the search for gravitational waves and exoplanets - all of those breakthroughs seem to be making us more inquisitive about space".




Former President Donald Trump has recently embarked on a eleven day trip to Asia. As written in the article, "Donald Trump embarks on marathon tour of Asia" by BBC, we see the reasons why our "dear" president would make such decision. Various elements came into play such as the threat of North Korea. As stated in the article, " The trip comes at a time of heightened tensions with North Korea over its nuclear programme and missile tests", the president finally seems to be worried about the North Korea threat and is at last taking action towards this meddling problem. Furthermore, he will use this trip to visit US military complex, as stated in the article, " He is, however, to visit Camp Humphreys, a US military complex south of the capital, Seoul". In other words he will visit some military troops in Seoul which further adds validity to his decision. The last reason why he is making this eleven day trip in Asia is because he will do a summit of South East Asian nations. As stated in the article, " His final engagement will be a summit of South- East Asians nations in the Philippine capital, Manila".




The Spanish prime minister did not tolerate Catalonia independence. As written in the article," Catalonia independence: Rajoy dissolves Catalan parliament" by BBC news we the controversy that is taken place in this historical day. Mariano Rajoy ( the current prime minister of Spain ) has fired Catalan leader Charles Puigdemont and his cabinet knowing that its a risky move. As stated in the article, " Spains prime minister may have hoped warning Catalonia against declaring independence would be enough. Now he has to follow through on his pledge to impose direct rule, knowing this is highly risky". In other words, he is ready to take risk, this means that he values Catalonia and will do anything to control them. Furthermore, was a violent riot in Catalonia. As stated in the article," There is some sympathy for the Catalan cause, mostly because of the police crackdown during the referendum. But far louder are calls to prosecute those pushing for independence. Its a move which many spaniards, like their government, are convinced was illegal".




In the article, "Fidel's Hell" by Terrence Cullen and Leonardo Greene ( published in the Daily News ) the government of the United States has released documents that suggested the idea to kill Fidel Castro. As stated in the article, "... documents shed little immediate light on President John Kennedy's assassination but they did provide some quirky details about America's strategy to kill Fidel Castro". In other words the C.I.A was planning to kill Castro and they were very open about it, as seen in the letters. Furthermore, the documents showed specific ways on murdering Castro, as stated in the article, " Discussions about preparing a booby-trap spectacular seashell which would be submerged in an area where Castro often skin dived", one of the memos said. " The seashell would be loaded with explosives to blow apart when the shell was lifted". Strategicly plotting the assassination of Fidel Castro seemed to be a great interest to the C.I.A.




In the article, " Don's weak Rx ", by Denis Slattery ( published in the Daily News ), the former president, Donald Trumps, is being critized for the way he is handling the opioid epidemic in America. The current fund to get opioids off the shelves is currently at $ 57,000, as stated in the article, " The public health Emergency Fund currently contains just $ 57,000, according to the department of Health and Human services". In other words, this opioid epidemic is being held lightly even though 150 Americans die weekly due to this horrible addiction. Furthermore, the president has no knowledge in the origin of the opioid epidemic. As stated in the article, " An astonishing 90% of the heroin in America comes from south of the border--where we will be building a wall-- which will greatly help in this problem, he said". This can easily be contradicted with some experts being skeptical about the walls ability to fight the problem, given roots in painkillers prescribed by doctors in the United States. Doctors are indeed prescribing them left and right!




President Donald Trump has recently selected a politician to control NASA, resulting in mixed opinions in whether he has done the right thing or the opposite. As written in the article, “ Trump has picked a politician to lead NASA. Is that a good thing?” by Paul Voosen, we see the complications that resulted, due to this selection. Bridenstine was harshly criticized for his comments towards global warming in 2013 by stating, “ Mr.Speaker, global temperatures stopped rising 10 years ago,” he said. “ Global temperature changes, when they exist, correlate with sun output and ocean cycles?”. His lack of space exploration caught Marco Rubio attention and later went on to comment about the situation by saying that the agency should be led by a space professional”. His career includes brief forays into real estate and a rocket-racing league, which isn’t much considering the fact that he has never actually been hands on with a project of this magnitude. The last and final statement of the article is that many will expect that Brienstine, who has written about the commercial potential of exploiting lunar resources, could shift the agency’s emphasis toward the moon.



      • Where is your title?

Many people aren’t looking forward to the release of the apple iPhone X according to an article in the popular website BBC news.

      • Always capitalize the name of a company; use "on" instead of "in"; it's important to list what article you're citing/taking quotes from; Many people aren't looking forward to the release of the Apple iPhone X, according to an article on the BBC News website.

With the top model costing $1000, buyers are paying to swap their finger print sensor for a facial scanner and ability to convert your face into an emoji.

      • "finger print" is one word; should put "the" in front of ability; use "their" instead of "your" since you're talking about several people; should reference that the new feature is called "Animoji"; With the top model costing $1,000, buyers are paying to swap their fingerprint sensor for a facial scanner, and the ability to convert their faces into an emoji with the new Animoji feature.

The home button has been an iconic apple stamp, but now with the iPhone X, consumers aren’t sure if unlocking the phone will never be easy (since it has facial recognition now).

      • The parentheses aren't needed here; explain what the home button is; this sentence can be reworked so it's more concise; The iPhone's home button has been an iconic Apple stamp, but now with the iPhone X's facial recognition technology, consumers are unsure if unlocking the phone will be easy.

And the bezels that run around the screen of the iPhone X doesn’t have the same impact as the most recent Samsung galaxy. Furthermore the ability to have better emojis for that price range is just an insult to the die hard apple consumers.

      • These two sentences can be combined into a good closing sentence; remember to capitalize the company and the product names; The bezels that run the iPhone X's screen don't have the same impact as the most recent Samsung Galaxy, furthermore, the high price range as justification to have better emojis is an insult to the die hard Apple consumers.
      • Where is your source?

Many people aren’t looking forward to the release of the apple iPhone X according to an article in the popular website BBC news. With the top model costing $1000, buyers are paying to swap their finger print sensor for a facial scanner and ability to convert your face into an emoji. The home button has been an iconic apple stamp, but now with the iPhone X, consumers aren’t sure if unlocking the phone will never be easy (since it has facial recognition now). And the bezels that run around the screen of the iPhone X doesn’t have the same impact as the most recent Samsung galaxy. Furthermore the ability to have better emojis for that price range is just an insult to the die hard apple consumers.


Fully edited article:

Many people aren't looking forward to the release of the Apple iPhone X, according to an article on the BBC News website. With the top model costing $1,000, buyers are paying to swap their fingerprint sensor for a facial scanner, and the ability to convert their faces into an emoji with the new Animoji feature. The iPhone's home button has been an iconic Apple stamp, but now with the iPhone X's facial recognition technology, consumers are unsure if unlocking the phone will be easy. The bezels that run the iPhone X's screen don't have the same impact as the most recent Samsung Galaxy, furthermore, the high price range as justification to have better emojis is an insult to the die hard Apple consumers.


      • You need to work on: providing a source/article for your summary, providing a title, not writing in an overly-opinionated way, and providing more information about the article itself.

Edited by Sydney






Tensions are building up between America and North Korea.

President Trump and Kim Jong-un have traded comments towards each other.

Mr. Kim said Donald Trump would “ pay dearly” for his speech in which he threatened that North Korea would be “totally destroyed”.

Furthermore North Korean Foreign minister Ri Long ho has warned that pyongyang could test a hydrogen bomb in the Pacific Ocean in response to the US president threat, he also stated,” It could be the most powerful detonation of an H-bomb in the pacific”.

Thirdly, Kim jon-un is now on full rampage, quoting,” now that Trump has denied the existence of and insulted me and my country in front of the eyes of the world and made the most ferocious declaration of a war in history”.

Lastly, in response to this President Donald Trump has signed a new order boosting sanctions against North Korea.