Difference between revisions of "Nish"

From Good To Know
Jump to: navigation, search
Line 17: Line 17:
 
Artificial Glaciers Water the Himalayas
 
Artificial Glaciers Water the Himalayas
  
Due to climate change, glaciers have shrunk and rainfall and temperatures became unpredictable in areas near the mountains, like the region of Ladakh in India. Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64 feet tall "ice-stupa." This is an artificial glacier that spouts water from mountain streams like a geyser. It was created to stay frozen until it gets warmer for the sun to melt it. Each ice-stupa supplies about ten million liters of water per year, enough to irrigate 25 acres of farmland. This method has been spreading across mountains all over the world. At the time being, water shortage is a major issue and it might disable future generations from farming. If the local farmers start adapting to climate change now, they would be greatly assisting their descendants.  
+
Due to climate change, glaciers have shrunk and rainfall and temperatures became unpredictable in areas near the mountains, like the region of Ladakh in India.  
 +
 
 +
Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64-foot tall "ice-stupa."
 +
***I changed "feet" to "foot" and added a hyphen between "64" and "foot.";Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64 feet tall "ice-stupa."
 +
 
 +
This is an artificial glacier that spouts water from mountain streams like a geyser.  
 +
 
 +
It was created to stay frozen until it gets warmer for the sun to melt it.  
 +
 
 +
Each ice-stupa supplies about ten million liters of water per year, enough to irrigate 25 acres of farmland.  
 +
 
 +
This method has been spreading across mountains all over the world.  
 +
 
 +
At the time being, water shortage is a major issue and it might disable future generations from farming.  
 +
 
 +
If the local farmers start adapting to climate change now, they would be greatly assisting their descendants.
  
 
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/explore-desert-glaciers/
 
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/explore-desert-glaciers/
 +
Edited by Michael Morrow
 +
 +
Good job on this one!
  
  
 +
Artificial Glaciers Water the Himalayas
  
 +
Due to climate change, glaciers have shrunk and rainfall and temperatures became unpredictable in areas near the mountains, like the region of Ladakh in India. Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64-foot tall "ice-stupa." This is an artificial glacier that spouts water from mountain streams like a geyser. It was created to stay frozen until it gets warmer for the sun to melt it. Each ice-stupa supplies about ten million liters of water per year, enough to irrigate 25 acres of farmland. This method has been spreading across mountains all over the world. At the time being, water shortage is a major issue and it might disable future generations from farming. If the local farmers start adapting to climate change now, they would be greatly assisting their descendants.
  
 +
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/explore-desert-glaciers/
  
 
-----
 
-----

Revision as of 22:01, 1 December 2017

The Brain of Dogs Versus Cats

A new study has shown that dogs are possibly more intelligent than cats. This is due to the fact that the cerebral cortexes of dogs have twice as more neurons than cats, which means they have more brain cells for thought processes, planning, and behavior. In the study, it was proved that certain mammals must outsmart prey to survive, so they have more neurons. In addition, animals with larger brains, like non-carnivores, also have more neurons. Out of all the mammals used in the study, the dog (golden retriever) had the greatest amount of cortical neurons - 627 million. However, the researchers state that their results don't lead to the fact that dogs are smarter and more intelligent than cats. In order to truly compare their cognitive capabilities, more comparisons on these species will have to be performed.

http://time.com/5043239/dogs-smarter-cats-study/?xid=homepage






Artificial Glaciers Water the Himalayas

Due to climate change, glaciers have shrunk and rainfall and temperatures became unpredictable in areas near the mountains, like the region of Ladakh in India.

Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64-foot tall "ice-stupa."

      • I changed "feet" to "foot" and added a hyphen between "64" and "foot.";Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64 feet tall "ice-stupa."

This is an artificial glacier that spouts water from mountain streams like a geyser.

It was created to stay frozen until it gets warmer for the sun to melt it.

Each ice-stupa supplies about ten million liters of water per year, enough to irrigate 25 acres of farmland.

This method has been spreading across mountains all over the world.

At the time being, water shortage is a major issue and it might disable future generations from farming.

If the local farmers start adapting to climate change now, they would be greatly assisting their descendants.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/explore-desert-glaciers/ Edited by Michael Morrow

Good job on this one!


Artificial Glaciers Water the Himalayas

Due to climate change, glaciers have shrunk and rainfall and temperatures became unpredictable in areas near the mountains, like the region of Ladakh in India. Two years ago, in 2015, $125,000 was raised to build a 64-foot tall "ice-stupa." This is an artificial glacier that spouts water from mountain streams like a geyser. It was created to stay frozen until it gets warmer for the sun to melt it. Each ice-stupa supplies about ten million liters of water per year, enough to irrigate 25 acres of farmland. This method has been spreading across mountains all over the world. At the time being, water shortage is a major issue and it might disable future generations from farming. If the local farmers start adapting to climate change now, they would be greatly assisting their descendants.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/explore-desert-glaciers/




How Turtles Hibernate Underwater

      • I thought the title could use a revision. The revised title says what the article is going to go into detail about.; Turtle Hibernation in Water

Being an ectotherm, a cold-blood animal, a turtle's body temperature changes with that of its environment, so if it is 1° Celsius outside, the turtle's body will also be that temperature.

      • Remember that it is important that you define terms that may not be familiar to the readers. Like "ectotherm" should have a simple definition so that when the word is mentioned again, they will know what it means. I added the degree symbol in front of "Celsius." I haven't figured out the keyboard trick, but I just copied and pasted the symbol.; Being an ectotherm, a turtle's body temperature changes with that of its environment, so if it is 1 degree Celsius outside, the turtle's body will also be that temperature.

When going into hibernation, turtles depend on stored energy and oxygen in the pond water they are in, which they take in through their butts; this is called cloacal respiration.

      • This is a good sentence, however, I tried to find a good replacement for "butts." I guess it is okay if the article uses it. If there is a way to get around using words like this, it can be taken. I thought these two sentences could be joined. The second sentence wasn't too strong to stand on its own.; When going into hibernation, turtles depend on stored energy and oxygen in the pond water they are in, which they take in through their butts. This is called cloacal respiration.

However, even ectothermic animals have their temperature limits.

Most turtles cannot survive in freezing temperatures, so they hibernate in fresh water.

Biologists observed the turtles to find out that they can survive in cold temperatures only for about 100 days.

      • So the main issue here is that we don't know where this research is coming from. We need to know what institution established this research or who did the work and their position. Knowing this will make all of this research presented legitimate. I found the original article and found that biologists did the work since there is no name or institution included.; In a science lab, they were observed to have survived in cold temperatures only for about 100 days.

It is important to understand how turtles adapt to different climate changes since recently they are at a risk of going extinct.

https://www.livescience.com/61018-turtles-breathe-through-butt.html Edited by Michael Morrow

If there is any way around using some unprofessional slang, try to see what can be done. I do recommend using different variations of sentence length, however, sometimes shorter one tends to be a little weaker than others. So, if you do have a shorter sentence, see if it similar in content with the sentence before or after it and maybe join it there.


How Turtles Hibernate Underwater

Being an ectotherm, a cold-blood animal, a turtle's body temperature changes with that of its environment, so if it is 1° Celsius outside, the turtle's body will also be that temperature. When going into hibernation, turtles depend on stored energy and oxygen in the pond water they are in, which they take in through their butts; this is called cloacal respiration. However, even ectothermic animals have their temperature limits. Most turtles cannot survive in freezing temperatures, so they hibernate in fresh water. Biologists observed the turtles to find out that they can survive in cold temperatures only for about 100 days. It is important to understand how turtles adapt to different climate changes since recently they are at a risk of going extinct.

https://www.livescience.com/61018-turtles-breathe-through-butt.html




Earth's Rotation Slowing Down

According to new research, the rotation of the Earth may slow down a little next year, which can result in an increase in earthquakes.

      • Remember to always capitalize the "E" in "Earth" when talking about the planet.; According to new research, the rotation of the earth may slow down a little next year, which can result in an increase in earthquakes.

Since 1900, there were about 15 earthquakes with a magnitude above six per year, but there were periods when this number rose to 35 earthquakes.

      • I omitted the numerical number of six and spelled it out however 35 can remain the same.; Since 1900, there were about 15 earthquakes with a magnitude above 6 per year, but there were periods when this number rose to 35 earthquakes.

Geophysicists found that these periods aligned with the times that the earth spun slower and the days were longer.

According to data, the planet "is entering a period of prolonged slower rotation" and "next year could see more quakes."

      • With this sentence I recommend just quoting right from the article.; Based on their data, the earth is now entering a period of continuous slower rotation, so this can lead to more earthquakes next year.

This information can be useful to know beforehand in order to perform construction and do city-planning with earthquake-safe techniques.

Plus, it does not take a major change in the rotation to have an effect on the Earth's interior stress.

      • Added an article before "rotation." And I capitalized the "E" in "Earth." ; Plus, it does not take a major change in rotation to have an effect on the earth's interior stress.


You should type out any number below ten. The more scientific the article the more you need to use names of researchers and prominent people in the field. And remember that when referring to the planet Earth or any other planet, always capitalize the first letter.

https://www.livescience.com/60989-slow-earth-rotation-triggers-earthquakes.html Edited by Michael Morrow


Earth's Rotation Slowing Down

According to new research, the rotation of the Earth may slow down a little next year, which can result in an increase in earthquakes. Since 1900, there were about 15 earthquakes with a magnitude above six per year, but there were periods when this number rose to 35 earthquakes. Geophysicists found that these periods aligned with the times that the earth spun slower and the days were longer. According to data, the planet "is entering a period of prolonged slower rotation" and "next year could see more quakes." This information can be useful to know beforehand in order to perform construction and do city-planning with earthquake-safe techniques. Plus, it does not take a major change in the rotation to have an effect on the Earth's interior stress.

https://www.livescience.com/60989-slow-earth-rotation-triggers-earthquakes.html





The Person Responsible for the Wipeout of Native Americans

      • I removed the hyphen between "wipe" and "out" and combined the words, it is a compound word. I recommend looking up certain words that may or may not have a hyphen. Those are normally tricky to figure out.; The Person Responsible for the Wipe-out of Native Americans


Around 1876, the Native Americans and buffalo of the Great Plains were killed off due to the actions of an American general, William Tecumseh Sherman.

      • I don't believe "eliminated" is the right word, you can use something much more concise like "destroyed," "terminated," or more specifically "killed off." The phrase "because of a deep respected" was omitted because this part can be more concise and the words can be replaced with "due to the actions of an."; Around 1876, the Native Americans and buffalo of the Great Plains were eliminated because of a deep respected American general, William Tecumseh Sherman.

He is well known for his march across Georgia during the Civil War, but people do not really know him for annihilating almost all of the United States' buffalo and relocating a numerous amount of indigenous people.

      • I think "bloody" can be removed if we're not going to get any detail on the march during the Civil War. Using that adjective draws in the readers and give them the mindset that they will be reading about that subject.; He is well known for his bloody march across Georgia during the Civil War, but people do not really know him for annihilating almost all of the United State's buffalo and relocating a numerous amount of indigenous people.

After the Civil War ended, the U.S. targeted the west for more land, so Sherman was given the job of forcing Native Americans onto reservations, taking over their land, and protecting the settlers.

As for the buffalo, they were an important part of Native American life; therefore, the idea was that removing the buffalo would get rid of the Native Americans much faster.

      • These two sentences can be combined, so I so by placing a semicolon between "life" and "therefore."; As for the buffalo, they were an important part of Native American life. Therefore, the idea was that removing the buffalo would get rid of the Native Americans much faster.


Though many Americans admired William Sherman for his actions to help the U.S., it still was not ethically right to destroy Native American culture.

      • I edited the last part of this sentence to give it a bitter read. I added "ethically" because it seems that this is apart of the argument; you could also use "morally." Then, I omitted "of him to fight" and got straight to the point.;Though many Americans admired William Sherman for his actions to help the U.S., it still was not right of him to fight to destroy Native American culture.

http://www.history.com/news/native-americans-have-general-sherman-to-thank-for-their-exile-to-reservations


The Person Responsible for the Wipeout of Native Americans

Around 1876, the Native Americans and buffalo of the Great Plains were killed off due to the actions of an American general, William Tecumseh Sherman. He is well known for his march across Georgia during the Civil War, but people do not really know him for annihilating almost all of the United States’ buffalo and relocating a numerous amount of indigenous people. After the Civil War ended, the U.S. targeted the west for more land, so Sherman was given the job of forcing Native Americans onto reservations, taking over their land, and protecting the settlers. As for the buffalo, they were an important part of Native American life; therefore, the idea was that removing the buffalo would get rid of the Native Americans much faster. Though many Americans admired William Sherman for his actions to help the U.S., it still was not ethically right to destroy Native American culture.

http://www.history.com/news/native-americans-have-general-sherman-to-thank-for-their-exile-to-reservations





The Reason Why We're All So Attracted to Facebook Ads

Almost everyone has been targeted and lured by ads, whether it be on social media or television commercials.

Focusing on Facebook, the ads there gives off a vibe of familiarity by popping up in the middle of your feed and showing names of family members or friends who have pressed the like button for that product.

      • Having "though" in this sentence would confuse the reader. I recommend you read your writings out aloud, so you will know what works and what does not sound right.; Focusing on Facebook, though, the ads there gives off a vibe of familiarity by popping up in the middle of your feed and showing names of family members or friends who have pressed the like button for that product.

However, people tend to be less trustworthy, looking for verbal hints to affirm that a product is real and worthy.

      • I removed "these days" because it does not help the sentence. I suggest working on being more concise and avoid being wordy.; However, these days people tend to be less trustworthy, looking for verbal hints to affirm that a product is real and worthy.

The two major verbal hints are "technology" and "new."

Those words give an illusion to the consumer that they are buying something superior to others, and this often makes them pleased with their purchase for the long-term.

It's pretty difficult for anyone to be immune to these infamous advertisements.

https://www.popsci.com/psychology-facebook-product-ads#page-4 Edited by Michael Morrow


The Reason Why We're All So Attracted to Facebook Ads

Almost everyone has been targeted and lured by ads, whether it be on social media or television commercials. Focusing on Facebook, the ads there gives off a vibe of familiarity by popping up in the middle of your feed and showing names of family members or friends who have pressed the like button for that product. However, people tend to be less trustworthy, looking for verbal hints to affirm that a product is real and worthy. The two major verbal hints are "technology" and "new." Those words give an illusion to the consumer that they are buying something superior to others, and this often makes them pleased with their purchase for the long-term. It's pretty difficult for anyone to be immune to these infamous advertisements.

https://www.popsci.com/psychology-facebook-product-ads#page-4 Edited by Michael Morrow





Super Eyes of a Bird

As much as we have improved on eye technology, none of those inventions could help humans compete with the superior eyesight of many birds of prey.

This is mostly due to the fact that these birds' eyes have unique anatomic features.

For example, while a human only has one fovea, raptors, birds of prey, have two.

      • Here is a good spot for you to mention that mainly birds of prey are called "raptors." Some may not know that birds are called that name. I recommend that you enclose "birds of prey" with commas instead of parentheticals.; For example, while a human only has one fovea, raptors (birds of prey) have two.

The foveas are lenses in the eye that magnify a bird's vision, which is mostly related as to how they can espy food from miles away.

      • I omitted "like" because, without it, the sentence functions fine and is straight to the point.; The foveas are like lenses that magnify a bird's vision, which is mostly related as to how they can espy food from miles away.

Also, raptors have been thought to obtain the ability to perceive UV light for years.

For airborne predators who scrutinize grounds for prey, this can be beneficial.

      • The adverb "really" is not needed. It would be more concise to remove the adverb.; For airborne predators who scrutinize grounds for prey, this can be really beneficial.

However, it turns out not all raptors possess this attribute.

      • I corrected the spelling of "possess."; However, it turns out not all raptors posses this attribute.

https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/news-posts/birds-of-prey-rely-on-super-sight-to-hunt Edited by Michael Morrow


Super Eyes of a Bird

As much as we have improved on eye technology, none of those inventions could help humans compete with the superior eyesight of many birds of prey. This is mostly due to the fact that these birds' eyes have unique anatomic features. For example, while a human only has one fovea, raptors, birds of prey, have two. The foveas are lenses in the eye that magnify a bird's vision, which is mostly related as to how they can espy food from miles away. Also, raptors have been thought to obtain the ability to perceive UV light for years. For airborne predators who scrutinize grounds for prey, this can be beneficial. However, it turns out not all raptors possess this attribute.

https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/news-posts/birds-of-prey-rely-on-super-sight-to-hunt





Suing Companies Responsible for the Damages of Climate Change

      • Remember to stay away from making titles with questions. In this title, you can simply state your position, if you want to change the revised title. In this revision, I just related the topic to the article while keeping majority of the original title.; Should We Sue Companies Responsible For the Damages of Climate Change?

Climate scientist, James Hansen, believes that by suing polluters, the world will be able to fight climate change.

      • Here I just added two commas: behind "scientist" and "Hansen." Besides that, the sentence is fine.; Climate scientist James Hansen believes that by suing polluters, the world will be able to fight climate change.

An immense amount of money is required to reduce carbon dioxide emission and take away existing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and according to Hansen, all this money should come from the companies releasing many pollutants into the air.

Currently, there are already climate lawsuits and governments being sued.

      • I thought "currently" would be a better fit than "At the present time." The two say the same thing, but just using "currently" cut down on wordiness. I also removed the second "and" later in the sentence. I recommend just reading over your sentences carefully to make sure there are no mistakes.; At the present time, there are already climate lawsuits and and governments being sued.

James Hansen, himself, is involved in a lawsuit against the U.S. government, arguing that future generations' rights of life, liberty, and property have been violated by the failure of the government to restrict carbon dioxide emissions.

      • I enclosed "himself" in commas, but in actuality, you could omit the word altogether.; James Hansen himself is involved in a lawsuit against the U.S. government, arguing that future generations' rights of life, liberty, and property have been violated by the failure of the government to restrict carbon dioxide emissions.

There are many extreme weathers yet to come, so we need to make a move to start eliminating CO2 discharge.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/11/james-hansen-fight-climate-change-sue-pollutors-cop23/ Edited by Michael Morrow


Suing Companies Responsible for the Damages of Climate Change

Climate scientist, James Hansen, believes that by suing polluters, the world will be able to fight climate change. An immense amount of money is required to reduce carbon dioxide emission and take away existing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, and according to Hansen, all this money should come from the companies releasing many pollutants into the air. Currently, there are already climate lawsuits and governments being sued. James Hansen, himself, is involved in a lawsuit against the U.S. government, arguing that future generations' rights of life, liberty, and property have been violated by the failure of the government to restrict carbon dioxide emissions. There are many extreme weathers yet to come, so we need to make a move to start eliminating CO2 discharge.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/11/james-hansen-fight-climate-change-sue-pollutors-cop23/





A Void Inside the Great Pyramid

Due to the use of cosmic rays, a large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt.

The Egyptology community is skeptical about it because they believe that the void could just be another hole in the pyramid from construction.

      • I changed the verb "are" to "is." I learned about this last year where even if you are talking about a group of people like "Egyptology community" it counts as singular. However, if you say that multiple communities are skeptical, then it is plural. I removed "though" because it really wasn't needed in the sentence.; The Egyptology community are skeptical about it, though, because they believe that the void could just be another hole in the pyramid from construction.

Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles, which are formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere.

      • I changed "formed with" to "formed by." I don't know a clear way to explain it but you show how the particles are formed and usually, the correct word used is "formed by."; Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles, which are formed with the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere.

All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an area that was not expected at all.

There are two major opposing views on the appearance of the void.

Some, like the Egyptologist Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods.

Others are more dismissive and disagree by saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers, and it's probably just an irregularity.

Either way, in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void, there needs to be further research and investigations.

https://www.livescience.com/60842-cosmic-rays-reveal-void-great-pyramid.html Edited by Michael Morrow



A Void Inside the Great Pyramid

Due to the use of cosmic rays, a large void has been recently discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt. The Egyptology community is skeptical about it because they believe that the void could just be another hole in the pyramid from construction. Researchers found the mysterious void by using muon particles, which are formed by the reaction between cosmic rays and Earth's upper atmosphere. All of the methods that the researchers utilized gave the same conclusion: the empty space was in an area that was not expected at all. There are two major opposing views on the appearance of the void. Some, like the Egyptologist Hanna, say the pyramids can be studied more in-depth through non-destructive methods. Others are more dismissive and disagree by saying that the void has nothing to do with secret rooms or chambers, and it's probably just an irregularity. Either way, in order to be completely sure about the significance of the void, there needs to be further research and investigations.

https://www.livescience.com/60842-cosmic-rays-reveal-void-great-pyramid.html




The Secrets Behind JFK's Assassination

      • Try to avoid using questions as titles. I came up with this title, but I always recommend that if you create something you feel is better, then you can replace my revised title. I wanted to capture the tone of your article while trying not to have the result as a question as I came up with a couple of titles that were questions as well. Try to make your titles simple and straight to the point.; Should We Take the Government's Word on JFK's Assassination?

The recently released documents regarding the assassination of President John F. Kennedy have stirred up debate on whether this new evidence adds to our previous knowledge or it's just conspiracy theories.

      • In this sentence, I removed all of the commas and spelled out JFK's name, for clarity to those who are unaware of the figure. I omitted "or not" just for more concise word choice and "whether" does the job of "whether or not." Also, I suggest working on trying to different sentence starters as well. The original starter wasn't worded good enough for an easy read. I also removed those "they" pronouns and replaced them with "it" and "new evidence." I, also, suggest working on word choice.; The new release of documents on the assassination of our past president, JFK's, death have stirred up debate on whether or not they add to our previous knowledge or they're just conspiracy theories.

According to the Warren Commission, the killer, Lee Harvey Oswald, fired at JFK three times causing a lot of damage.

      • Remember to have to the whole name of people, for example, some people may think you are referencing Oswald the cartoon character because of the lacking specifics.; According to the Warren Commission, the killer, Oswald, had fired at JFK three times causing a lot of damage.

Critics, however, believe there must have been helpers to cause that much damage to JFK's body.

As a result, criticisms led up to more ideas on what actually could have happened.

In addition, many of the new documents that have been revealed portray Oswald as a much different character than he actually was.

Though we might not know why Oswald pulled the trigger on JFK on November 22, 1963, the government should declassify the documents and give Americans the right to decide themselves as to why this tragic event might have occurred.

http://www.history.com/news/why-the-public-stopped-believing-the-government-about-jfks-murder Edited by Michael Morrow


The Secrets Behind JFK's Assassination

The recently released documents regarding the assassination of President John F. Kennedy have stirred up debate on whether this new evidence adds to our previous knowledge or it's just conspiracy theories. According to the Warren Commission, the killer, Lee Harvey Oswald, fired at JFK three times causing a lot of damage. Critics, however, believe there must have been helpers to cause that much damage to JFK's body. As a result, criticisms led up to more ideas on what actually could have happened. In addition, many of the new documents that have been revealed portray Oswald as a much different character than he actually was. Though we might not know why Oswald pulled the trigger on JFK on November 22, 1963, the government should declassify the documents and give Americans the right to decide themselves as to why this tragic event might have occurred.

http://www.history.com/news/why-the-public-stopped-believing-the-government-about-jfks-murder





History of Trick-Or-Treating

When we think of Halloween, we mostly picture candy and costumes, however, its past is more intense then we think.

      • I combined the two sentences because the second seems much better as a second half of the first sentence.; When we think of Halloween, we mostly picture candy and costumes. However, its past is more intense then we think.

There used to be a medieval Christian tradition on the eve of all Saint's Day where the poor went to the homes of the wealthy and offered to pray for the people of that household who had recently departed.

The rich gave the poor food and beer in return, and there was also some dressing up to represent the replenishment of the Christian population.

However, after the Protestant Reformation, this idea of saving souls changed and lost popularity, though a few Catholics continued the practice.

      • I added a comma behind "Reformation." I replaced "still kept up" with "continued." It cut down on words and does the job of the other three words.; However, after the Protestant Reformation this idea of saving souls changed and lost popularity, though a few Catholics still kept up the practice.

Later on, towards the 19th century, newspapers reported the rising trend of the custom among college students.

      • I added "rising trend of the" towards the end of the sentence because the original didn't too much read well.; Later on towards the 19th century, newspapers reported the trending of this custom among college students.

Soon enough, North America called this "trick-or-treating," which has grown into the practice of people dressing up and kids going door-to-door for candy as seen today.

      • I put "trick-or-treating" in quotes because you're basically quoting what someone says when you say "called." Since you are on a specifc topic, "a practice" should have been "the practice."; Soon enough, North America called this trick-or-treating, which has grown into a practice of people dressing up and kids going door-to-door for candy as seen today.

http://time.com/4991828/halloween-trick-or-treating-history/ Edited by Michael Morrow


History of Trick-Or-Treating

When we think of Halloween, we mostly picture candy and costumes, however, its past is more intense then we think. However, after the Protestant Reformation, this idea of saving souls changed and lost popularity, though a few Catholics continued the practice. Later on, towards the 19th century, newspapers reported the rising trend of the custom among college students. Soon enough, North America called this "trick-or-treating," which has grown into the practice of people dressing up and kids going door-to-door for candy as seen today.

http://time.com/4991828/halloween-trick-or-treating-history/




A 6,000-Year-Old Tsunami Surviving Skull

      • This is a good title, it is just missing hyphens.; A 6,000 Year Old Tsunami Surviving Skull

Where there are new ecosystems, there are new dangers.

One of these dangers, a tsunami, powerfully struck the coast of Papua New Guinea 6,000 years ago.

Carried onto the coast by the waters were tiny creatures, pebbles, sand, and most significantly, at least one human skull.

The skull had laid there for millenniums.

      • I corrected the verb tense of "lay" and I did change "millenniums" to "millenia" the original sounds better.; The skull had lay there for millenniums.

Surprisingly, it is only one out of two human remains discovered on the island dating that far back.

However, without more pieces of the body, it's not very possible to definitely say the tsunami was the event causing this person's death.

Still, the skull and its cracks show evidence of someone living in Papa New Guinea who was impacted by the natural disaster.

      • So, here I took the "s" from "show" and gave it to "crack." Mainly after seeing the picture from the article, it definitely has more than just a "crack." ;Still, the skull and its crack shows evidence of someone living in Papa New Guinea who was impacted by the natural disaster.

Further research could conceivably show the ways in which ancient humans in this area coped with the unexpected side of coastal living.

https://www.popsci.com/6000-year-old-skull-tsunami#page-2 Edited by Michael Morrow


A 6,000-Year-Old Tsunami Surviving Skull

Where there are new ecosystems, there are new dangers. One of these dangers, a tsunami, powerfully struck the coast of Papua New Guinea 6,000 years ago. Carried onto the coast by the waters were tiny creatures, pebbles, sand, and most significantly, at least one human skull. The skull had laid there for millenniums. Surprisingly, it is only one out of two human remains discovered on the island dating that far back. However, without more pieces of the body, it's not very possible to definitely say the tsunami was the event causing this person's death. Still, the skull and its cracks show evidence of someone living in Papa New Guinea who was impacted by the natural disaster. Further research could conceivably show the ways in which ancient humans in this area coped with the unexpected side of coastal living.

https://www.popsci.com/6000-year-old-skull-tsunami#page-2





A Painting Looted by the Nazis Discovered

      • The title was just missing that one word to tie it together. The original didn't give enough context to what the article was talking about. This shows that one word can change a whole sentence.; A Painting Looted by the Nazis

German authorities announced recently that a painting that had been despoiled by the Nazis from a Jewish French Resistance leader was identified.

The original owner of the painting, by Thomas Couture, was Georges Mandel, an early opponent of the German Nazis.

      • Remember that appositives, which are those extra pieces of information, should be cased in commas and not parenthesis. And this second sentence really isn't strong enough to stand on its own, so I combined the two.; The original owner of the painting (by Thomas Couture) was Georges Mandel. He was an early opponent of the German Nazis.

After World War II, reports of other looted art were filed.

Mandel's long-lost Couture painting, named "Portrait of a Seated Young Woman," was described and mentioned as having a small, repaired hole in a certain location.

      • I thought it would be important to add the name of the artwork here. However, it could've been added earlier.; Mandel's long-lost Couture painting was described and mentioned as having a small, repaired hole in a certain location.

This matched the hole in the painting that was identified.

The Thomas Couture painting is one of many works of art to be banned by the Nazis, and some also stolen from the victims of Nazi persecution.

Hundreds more in the collection of misplaced artworks are still waiting to be identified as a Nazi-looted painting.

https://www.livescience.com/60779-nazi-looted-painting-discovered.html Edited by Michael Morrow


A Painting Looted by the Nazis Discovered

German authorities announced recently that a painting that had been despoiled by the Nazis from a Jewish French Resistance leader was identified. The original owner of the painting, by Thomas Couture, was Georges Mandel, an early opponent of the German Nazis. Mandel's long-lost Couture painting, named "Portrait of a Seated Young Woman," was described and mentioned as having a small, repaired hole in a certain location. This matched the hole in the painting that was identified. The Thomas Couture painting is one of many works of art to be banned by the Nazis, and some also stolen from the victims of Nazi persecution. Hundreds more in the collection of misplaced artworks are still waiting to be identified as a Nazi-looted painting.

https://www.livescience.com/60779-nazi-looted-painting-discovered.html




Fighting Illegal Animal Trafficking

Around the globe, illegal wildlife trading is a constant threat.

      • Even though this sentence is short is it still wordy. I moved some words around to give it better smoother read as well.; All around Earth, illegal trading of wildlife is a constant threat.

A team of biologists decided to understand and address this concept by investigating the slow loris trafficking.

These animals are one of many to be illegally poached and hunted for several reasons such as medicine, food, and to be made domesticated pets.

      • There is no need for a comma between "reasons" and "such." Also, you could say, "for several reasons including medicine." I thought "even" could be replaced with something stronger, so I tried using "to be made domesticated."; These animals are one of many to be illegally poached and hunted for several reasons, such as medicine, food, and even pets.

Unfortunately, this study needed more information on the effects of human behavior and society on the complex idea of trading wildlife.

Future studies, though, could bring research to provide plans of action to decrease the impact of wildlife trading and pass laws that could possibly save and conserve many of their lives.

https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/research-posts/a-new-approach-to-combating-illegal-wildlife-trafficking Edited by Michael Morrow


Fighting Illegal Animal Trafficking

Around the globe, illegal wildlife trading is a constant threat. A team of biologists decided to understand and address this concept by investigating the slow loris trafficking. These animals are one of many to be illegally poached and hunted for several reasons such as medicine, food, and to be made domesticated pets. Unfortunately, this study needed more information on the effects of human behavior and society on the complex idea of trading wildlife. Future studies, though, could bring research to provide plans of action to decrease the impact of wildlife trading and pass laws that could possibly save and conserve many of their lives.

https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/research-posts/a-new-approach-to-combating-illegal-wildlife-trafficking




Taking Control of a Brighter Future

Communities in Brazil are now able to create their own maintainable and inexpensive power supply with the power of solar energy.

For example, in a neighborhood in the city of Rio de Janeiro, the people are determined to build a better life than they previously had.

      • I put a comma after "for example." Always remember to put a comma after introductory words and phrases.; For example in a neighborhood in the city of Rio de Janeiro, the people are determined to build a better life than they previously had.

They had electricity that was not affordable or reliable.

The neighborhood decided to campaign new ideas that would help create leisure time and make everyday tasks much easier.

      • I changed "they" to "the neighborhood" so you be repetitive when using "they" at the beginning of your sentence.; They decided to campaign new ideas that would help create leisure time and make everyday tasks much easier.

Eventually, there was an answer from the Brazilian energy start-up company Insolar, who offered the residents of the neighborhood solar panels and a local solar grid.

      • The original sentence looked like there was something missing so I went into the article for more information and found that Insolar is an energy start-up company. So I decided to add that becuase it tells the reader what and who Insolar exactly is.; Eventually, there was an answer from the Brazilian Insolar, who offered the residents of the neighborhood solar panels and a local solar grid.

This has brought the residents many social and economic benefits along the way.

      • You had a word choice error in this sentence. I corrected it from "economical" to "economic."; This has brought the residents many social and economical benefits along the way.

Not only is this community taking control of their energy future, but it is also collaborating to provide a positive future for generations to come.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/10/sponsor-content-bringing-communities-together-to-build-a-brighter-future/ Edited by Michael Morrow


Taking Control of a Brighter Future

Communities in Brazil are now able to create their own maintainable and inexpensive power supply with the power of solar energy. For example, in a neighborhood in the city of Rio de Janeiro, the people are determined to build a better life than they previously had. They had electricity that was not affordable or reliable. The neighborhood decided to campaign new ideas that would help create leisure time and make everyday tasks much easier. Eventually, there was an answer from the Brazilian energy start-up company Insolar, who offered the residents of the neighborhood solar panels and a local solar grid. This has brought the residents many social and economic benefits along the way. Not only is this community taking control of their energy future, but it is also collaborating to provide a positive future for generations to come.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/10/sponsor-content-bringing-communities-together-to-build-a-brighter-future/




Betsy Ross and the American Flag

      • The title can be simplified down into the revised I made. The original was fine as it was but sometimes in writing, simple would win.; Betsy Ross's Relationship with the American Flag

Betsy Ross is well known for making the first American flag.

She was first called upon by three members of a secret committee from the Continental Congress, including George Washington, who would later become the first president of the country.

      • I suggest calling Washington either "General" or "the first President of the United States." Believe it or not, some people are actually forgetting him and will mistake this George for Bush. I see it a lot.; She was first called upon by three members of a secret committee from the Continental Congress, including George Washington.

Ross and Washington were good acquaintances, which is partially the reason why she was chosen to make the flag.

As a widow, Ross struggled in her upholstery business when General Washington provided her a rough design of the flag.

      • I changed "While she was a widow" to "As a widow" because it says more in few words and shows life in the 1770s. Also, I removed the comma between "business" and "when."; While she was a widow, Ross struggled in her upholstery business, when General Washington provided her a rough design of the flag.

Months before the Declaration of Independence was publicly announced for the first time, Ross finished the flag.

      • The main rule is to avoid being wordy. For example, instead of "A few months before" you can say "Months before." They both have the same meaning. I corrected "announces" to "announced" and I removed the helping verb "had" from behind "Ross."; A few months before the Declaration of Independence was publicly announces for the first time, Ross had finished the flag.

The Continental Congress decided that the American flag would promote national pride and unity, with thirteen alternate red and white stripes and the union would be shown in a blue field with thirteen stars.

http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagtale.html Edited by Michael Morrow


Betsy Ross and the American Flag

Betsy Ross is well known for making the first American flag. She was first called upon by three members of a secret committee from the Continental Congress, including George Washington, who would later become the first president of the country. Ross and Washington were good acquaintances, which is partially the reason why she was chosen to make the flag. As a widow, Ross struggled in her upholstery business when General Washington provided her a rough design of the flag. Months before the Declaration of Independence was publicly announced for the first time, Ross finished the flag. The Continental Congress decided that the American flag would promote national pride and unity, with thirteen alternate red and white stripes and the union would be shown in a blue field with thirteen stars.

http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagtale.html



Significance of the Liberty Bell

The Liberty Bell became well known when American abolitionists used it as a symbol to try to end slavery.

They utilized the bell as a metaphor for a country that was divided and lacked freedom for African Americans.

      • In this sentence, I changed the word choice used. Instead of “named it,” I changed it to “utilized the bell.” This adds more specificity to what you are talking about. I felt no need to have both “torn apart/ divided” so I chose one that best fitted the situation. Last, I replaced “didn’t have” with “lacked.” ; They named it as a metaphor for a country that was torn apart/ divided and didn't have freedom for African Americans.

After the Civil War, the bell figuratively traveled across the country proclaiming liberty and spreading the idea of freedom.

It was occasionally rung to call people of the Assembly together for special announcements and many historical events.

      • So, the main part that was revised was the ending. I removed the first “and” because you should only have one when listing things. I wanted to keep “events” and “occasions” but the works sound so much a like that only one could be used. So, I went with “events.”; It was occasionally rung to call people of the Assembly together for special announcements and events, and also many historical occasions.

When the nation's capital used to be Philadelphia, the bell was used for many causes in the government.

Today, the Liberty Bell still has great importance to our country, and we celebrate it every Fourth of July.

http://www.ushistory.org/libertybell/index.html Edited by Michael Morrow


Significance of the Liberty Bell

The Liberty Bell became well known when American abolitionists used it as a symbol to try to end slavery. They utilized the bell as a metaphor for a country that was divided and lacked freedom for African Americans. After the Civil War, the bell figuratively traveled across the country proclaiming liberty and spreading the idea of freedom. It was occasionally rung to call people of the Assembly together for special announcements and many historical events. When the nation's capital used to be Philadelphia, the bell was used for many causes in the government. Today, the Liberty Bell still has great importance to our country, and we celebrate it every Fourth of July.

http://www.ushistory.org/libertybell/index.html





Why the Islamic World May Have Had an Impact on the Vikings

New historical evidence has suggested that interactions between the Vikings, Scandinavian warriors who roamed the sea, and Islam were greater than thought previously.

      • I replaced the parentheticals with commas. Normally, in this kind of writing, parenthesis are not used too often. Also, I lowercased “warriors” because there was no need to have it capitalized.; New historical evidence has suggested that interactions between the Vikings (Scandinavian Warriors who roamed the sea) and Islam were greater than thought previously.

While studying burial garments, Annika Larsson, a textile archaeologist, discovered that the garments were created with a form of Arabic script.

      • I decided to change the beginning phrase so it would read better. I thought it would be better that Larsson’s name go before her occupation so the readers can immediately identify who she is and be able to refer back to her later on.; During a study of burial garments, a textile archaeologist (Annika Larsson) discovered that the garments were created with a form of Arabic script.

It had characters signifying the “Allah,” the Arabic word for God.

      • The main issue with this sentence is that you don’t say which god or whose god is being signified. Through the article I was able pull out the fact that the god was Allah. That’s something very important and should be stated.; It had characters signifying God.

Past DNA tests have shown that people buried in Viking graves were originally from a dominant Islamic territory.

      • I simply changed “testings” to “test.”; Past DNA testings have shown that people buried in Viking graves were originally from a dominant Islamic territory.

Larsson also noted that the characters for the Arabic God were a consistent pattern on all the burial garments, indicating that the Vikings had specific connections with the Shiites, part of a branch of Islam.

She made a point on how this research could possibly help clear up the fact that Vikings opposed Islam and instead personally embraced parts of the religion.


http://www.history.com/news/why-are-these-viking-burial-clothes-inscribed-with-arabic-script Edited by Michael Morrow


Why the Islamic World May Have Had an Impact on the Vikings

New historical evidence has suggested that interactions between the Vikings, Scandinavian warriors who roamed the sea, and Islam were greater than thought previously. While studying burial garments, Annika Larsson, a textile archaeologist, discovered that the garments were created with a form of Arabic script. It had characters signifying the “Allah,” the Arabic word for God. Past DNA tests have shown that people buried in Viking graves were originally from a dominant Islamic territory. Larsson also noted that the characters for the Arabic God were a consistent pattern on all the burial garments, indicating that the Vikings had specific connections with the Shiites, part of a branch of Islam. She made a point on how this research could possibly help clear up the fact that Vikings opposed Islam and instead personally embraced parts of the religion.

http://www.history.com/news/why-are-these-viking-burial-clothes-inscribed-with-arabic-script





Avoid Cancer by Putting Sunscreen on Your Eyelids

      • Use active voice; always capitalize important words in a title; Avoiding cancer by putting sunscreen on your eyelids

A majority of sunscreen bottles contain warnings that tell people to avoid putting sunscreen on areas near their eyes.

      • Since “bottles” is plural, use “contain” instead of “contains”, for sentence flow and to maintain an active voice, changed “telling” to “that tell” A majority of sunscreen bottles contains warnings telling people to avoid putting sunscreen on areas near their eyes.

However, dermatologists have conducted research that shows that following these instructions puts people at a higher risk of cancer.

      • They’ve conducted more than one study, I assume, so take out the “a”, use active voice; However, dermatologists have conducted a research showing that following these instructions put people at a higher risk of cancer.

The regions covered in the warnings are the site of a significant amount of skin cancers; 10% of these cancers begin in the eyelids.

      • Specify what the regions are, use a semicolon to connect these two complete thoughts; These regions are the site of a significant amount of skin cancers, 10% of which begin in the eyelids.

In spite of the study, most people still stray away from applying sunscreen around their eyes; an alternative for them would be to wear sunglasses.

      • Specify that you’re talking about the research study, use active voice instead of “are straying”, use a semi colon to connect two complete thoughts; Although given this warning, most people still are straying away from applying sunscreen around their eyes, so an alternative to this would be to wear sunglasses.

Experts believe that the sunscreen products are causing too much concern; sunbathers should cover themselves head-to-toe with at least a factor 30 sun cream or sunscreen.

      • Active voice, use a semi colon to connect two complete thoughts, never use a slash when you could use the word “or”; Experts believe that the sunscreen products are causing too much worrying, and sunbathers should cover themselves head-to-toe with at least a factor 30 sun cream/ sunscreen.

Avoiding Cancer by Putting Sunscreen on Your Eyelids

A majority of sunscreen bottles contain warnings that tell people to avoid putting sunscreen on areas near their eyes. However, dermatologists have conducted research that shows that following these instructions puts people at a higher risk of cancer. The regions covered in the warnings are the site of a significant amount of skin cancers; 10% of these cancers begin in the eyelids. In spite of the study, most people still stray away from applying sunscreen around their eyes; an alternative for them would be to wear sunglasses. Experts believe that the sunscreen products are causing too much concern; sunbathers should cover themselves head-to-toe with at least a factor 30 sun cream or sunscreen.


Edited by Kaitlyn Crow where is your source?

Avoiding cancer by putting sunscreen on your eyelids

A majority of sunscreen bottles contains warnings telling people to avoid putting sunscreen on areas near their eyes. However, dermatologists have conducted a research showing that following these instructions put people at a higher risk of cancer. These regions are the site of a significant amount of skin cancers, 10% of which begin in the eyelids. Although given this warning, most people still are straying away from applying sunscreen around their eyes, so an alternative to this would be to wear sunglasses. Experts believe that the sunscreen products are causing too much worrying, and sunbathers should cover themselves head-to-toe with at least a factor 30 sun cream/ sunscreen.






The Return of Patrick Nyarko Brings Back D.C. United Offense

Patrick Nyarko is ranked one of the most powerful attackers in Major League Soccer (MLS) in the past decade.

Though he hasn’t been given a spot on the end-of-year all-league team, Nyarko claims he is working for his team, not himself.

      • Is this what you mean? I’m not sure of the meaning of this sentence – what is the end-of-year all-league team?; Though he hasn't been considered a spot on the end-of-year all-league team, Nyarko claims he is working for his team, not himself.

Due to a concussion last season, Nyarko remained in the sidelines for six matches.

As a result, United averaged at most one goal per game.

Last week, when United had a 2-1 win over Atlanta, Nyarko was the one who scored the game-winning point.

      • Need a comma; Last week when United had a 2-1 win over Atlanta, Nyarko was the one who scored the game-winning point.

His attitude and determination makes him a great player for MLS and his teammates.

The Return of Patrick Nyarko Brings Back D.C. United Offense

Patrick Nyarko is ranked one of the most powerful attackers in Major League Soccer (MLS) in the past decade. Though he hasn’t been given a spot on the end-of-year all-league team, Nyarko claims he is working for his team, not himself. Due to a concussion last season, Nyarko remained in the sidelines for six matches. As a result, United averaged at most one goal per game. Last week, when United had a 2-1 win over Atlanta, Nyarko was the one who scored the game-winning point. His attitude and determination makes him a great player for MLS and his teammates.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/jun/29/patrick-nyarkos-return-from-injury-sparks-dc-unite/

Edited by Kaitlyn Crow

The Return of Patrick Nyarko Brings Back D.C. United Offense

Patrick Nyarko is ranked one of the most powerful attackers in Major League Soccer (MLS) in the past decade. Though he hasn't been considered a spot on the end-of-year all-league team, Nyarko claims he is working for his team, not himself. Due to a concussion last season, Nyarko remained in the sidelines for six matches. As a result, United averaged at most one goal per game. Last week when United had a 2-1 win over Atlanta, Nyarko was the one who scored the game-winning point. His attitude and determination makes him a great player for MLS and his teammates.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/jun/29/patrick-nyarkos-return-from-injury-sparks-dc-unite/




Increasing International Airport Security

Rather than banning devices such as laptops and tablets, the U.S. decided to boost the amount of security in international flights.

This means incoming travelers will be subject to a screening process, which will more than likely lead to delays

      • Awkward phasing; This means incoming travelers will be subject through a process of screening, which will more than likely lead to delays.

The reasons for the placements of these new measures are past terrorist attacks and the safety of the public.

The U.S. has already banned electronics in a ban that affected flights from eight different major Muslim countries, but adjudicated on not banning them on other international flights.

      • Verb tense, awkward phrasing, define what “this” is; The U.S. had already banned electronics that affected flights from eight different major Muslim countries, but adjudicated on not going through with this.

Raising aviation security will hopefully create a more secure environment.

Increasing International Airport Security

Rather than banning devices such as laptops and tablets, the U.S. decided to boost the amount of security in international flights. This means incoming travelers will be subject to a screening process, which will more than likely lead to delays. The reasons for the placements of these new measures are past terrorist attacks and the safety of the public. The U.S. has already banned electronics in a ban that affected flights from eight different major Muslim countries, but adjudicated on not banning them on other international flights. Raising aviation security will hopefully create a more secure environment.


http://time.com/money/4838041/laptop-ban-airport-screenings-us-flights/?xid=homepage

Edited by Kaitlyn Crow


Increasing International Airport Security

Rather than banning devices such as laptops and tablets, the U.S. decided to boost the amount of security in international flights.

This means incoming travelers will be subject through a process of screening, which will more than likely lead to delays.


The reasons for the placements of these new measures are past terrorist attacks and the safety of the public.


The U.S. had already banned electronics that affected flights from eight different major Muslim countries, but adjudicated on not going through with this.


Raising aviation security will hopefully create a more secure environment.

http://time.com/money/4838041/laptop-ban-airport-screenings-us-flights/?xid=homepage






SNYDER: Another helping of Cavs-Warriors? Yes, please

In this season of the NBA playoffs, fans have been complaining about the lack of entertainment: too many blowouts, boring series, and no new winners.

        • Don't use "etc..." in writing people want to read the facts. If you have no more facts, just end the sentence. ;In this season of the NBA playoffs, fans have been complaining about the lack of entertainment: too many blowouts, boring series, no new winners, etc.


Then there was a third consecutive NBA Finals match up between the Cavaliers and the Warriors, which everyone had already predicted, seeing as they have six of the top 20 players.


However, people are not looking forward to watching Cavs-Warrior play-offs for the third consecutive time.


Fans argue that competition was way better in the time of Michael Jordan, his team winning 6 straight NBA titles.

      • Don't use pronouns, we readers are unsure of who you mean.

Since we can't do anything to change the fate of these two teams, those watching the game will have to wait and be optimistic on the level of entertainment basketball players and teams will give fans in the future.

      • A little unclear by saying "left to come", be a little more straight forward about future events; Since we can't do anything to change the fate of these two teams, those watching the game will have to wait and be optimistic on the level of entertainment left to come.

Source: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/may/22/lebron-james-vs-kevin-durant-yes-please/






Possible Man-Made Bubble Around The Earth

      • Your Title was a copy of the original, plagiarism. The original title and the subtitle could be combined to create a new sentence that tells more about the subject for the topic sentence; We may have accidentally formed a protective bubble around Earth***

Earth Radio waves might have accidentally formed a protective bubble around our planet which could be protecting us from space weather.

      • Better to use the subject of VLF in the beginning, "The Navy" by using the Navy, it is clear where the VLF originates from and then is less confusing to read; Very low frequency radio waves can be used to send messages from the Navy to an underwater submarine, and some reach all the way to space. ***

The Navy uses Very Low Frequency radio waves, VLF for short, to send messages to submarines and sometimes these radio waves reach space

      • Defining what Van Allen Probes, and other unknown terms, are key to understanding the content of the articles.

A new finding from the Van Allen Probes, two robotic spacecraft being used to study the Van Allen radiation belts that surround Earth, show that these long wavelengths may be forming a bubble protecting our planet's atmosphere.

      • Is this sentence necessary? It confuses me because it is not talking about the man-made bubble, or the probes, too much info in a short amount of writing gets confusing to readers. Perhaps just using a definition of the belts from another article would be better; Van Allen radiation belts surround the earth, with charged particles from the sun that could get stuck in the earth's magnetic field.***


A radiation belt is a zone of energetic charged particles, most of which originate from the solar wind that is captured by and held around a planet by that planet's magnetic field.

      • So? You need to continue your writing and bring it back to the main topic; During a major geomagnetic storm in 2015, these belts surprisingly didn't come any closer to the earth than the plasmasphere, and the radio signals stopped at the same area where the electron particles stopped passing through,***

During a major geomagnetic storm in 2015, these belts surprisingly didn't come any closer to the earth than the plasmasphere, and the radio signals stopped at the same area where the electron particles stopped passing through, thus hinting that something else might be affecting which may just be this man-made bubble.

The U.S. Air Force is planning on testing the strength of VLF waves from space pollution and storms, and learn more about Earth's new "bubble".

http://www.popsci.com/radio-wave-shield-space-weather#page-2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Allen_Probes

Very low frequency radio waves can be used to send messages from the Navy to an underwater submarine, and some reach all the way to space. A new finding from the Van Allen Probes shows that these long wavelengths may be forming a bubble protecting our planet's atmosphere. Van Allen radiation belts surround the earth, with charged particles from the sun that could get stuck in the earth's magnetic field. During a major geomagnetic storm in 2015, these belts surprisingly didn't come any closer to the earth than the plasmasphere, and the radio signals stopped at the same area where the electron particles stopped passing through. The U.S. Air Force is planning on testing the strength of VLF waves from space pollution and storms, and learn more about Earth's "bubble".

http://www.popsci.com/radio-wave-shield-space-weather#page-2